20 Questions (6)

If instead of your current job, you had to do an "extreme" job (like racecar driver or something), what would you pick? -HomeImprovementNinja

This is hard! I am good at what I do and I can't imagine having a job where I'm not writing. Maybe being a tour guide would be fun, navigating zip lines or whitewater rafting all day would just feel like playing. But I'm also not terribly customer-service oriented, so that's probably out. Maybe something with animals. Training dogs for the blind or running a horse stable. Eh, that's not an extreme job, but then again I'm not really an extreme person.

Ever thought of leaving your current city? It seems like a necklace of heartache around your neck. Maybe you'd find a better love life elsewhere. -alien

I've given that a lot of thought this year. I'm not opposed to leaving the city. I think the main problem with cities such as mine and DC and LA and other metropolises is that we simply have too many options. It's called the paradox of choice, in which anxiety is caused by an overabundance of possibilities. There's simply too many single, educated, eligible people. And there's always going to be someone prettier. And there's always going to be someone funnier. There's no reason to settle down because the next great thing may just be a profile click away.

I'm glad I grew up in the South—I think I am a better person for growing up in the South—but I think I've conquered the South. I've done everything there is to do in the city. A guy once said he tried really hard to take me on an unusual date. My response was something like, "Oh yeah, I used to party with that crowd years ago. Good buddies of mine." Things are getting stale.

With that said, I don't know if I'm a strong enough person to give up my great job and my security and start life over elsewhere in a city where I don't know anyone. Schmoozer is doing that. He's traveling the Pacific Northwest this year to find the next city he's going to live in. I think if I were to do it, it would have to be for a person or with a person.

Best sex ever? -Charlotte

The best oral hands down was Adam. The best sex was probably Christopher circa 2006. He was silently attentive, listening to my reactions and gauging himself accordingly. "You like it a little to the left," he said to me one afternoon. I didn't really understand what "a little to the left" meant; he was paying attention in ways that I wasn't.

I'm trying to rack my brain for a particular life-changing romp, but I can't think of anything. It all kind of melds together into one forgettable memory. I'm going to assume the best sex ever is ahead of me.

Last question, to end on a lighter note, if you could choose a different hair color to have been born with, what color would you choose? -Anonymous

Growing up I had long hair that had rarely seen a pair of scissors. Unfortunately it had also rarely seen a comb. I was too fast in my tomboy lifestyle. When my mother finally caught me long enough to run a comb through the tangled mess, I'd howl in pain with hot, angry tears.

"Hold still. Let me get through this rat's nest," she'd order impatiently. That's what she called my head: a rat's nest. She'd call the color mousy brown, as if everything about me equated rodent.

When I was 11, my mother ordered me to get my hair cut. I screamed and cried in defiance. To lesson the blow, she also let me get it colored "to get rid of the mousy brown."

So from 11 – 29, I colored my hair. I was a red head in high school, a blonde in college and beyond. Against her wishes, I've grown my hair back out. Although I've since learned to use a comb.

Throughout the last year as the color transitioned from blonde to brunette, my mother marveled at the natural color of my hair. "It's a lot darker than I remember."

"It's always been this color," I'd retort resentfully. She's always hated my hair. This has always been a fight.

"No, it's darker, like your brother's."

Honestly, I wouldn't know. No one has seen my natural color in 19 years. But I guess it does darken as one ages. I still like the blonde lifestyle and the attention it attracts, but I have since learned to embrace the brunette.