~Friday, February 03, 2012

Male Delivery

What's the personality difference between breast men and ass men?

...I find the ass men I know are the more subtle ones. If I'm out (drunk) with two friends, the one up on stage, ordering shots, taking over the DJ booth is probably a tit guy. The guy sitting next to me ordering pints and criticising dance music is likely the ass man. But keep in mind, this isn't as simple as "tits = extrovert, ass = introvert".

My question is about men and video games.

While I find the occasional video game play can be fun, what makes men obsess over them? I'm not talking teenagers here, but married men with kids who have better things to do with their time (and their wives).


...There are worse things. Video games are an escape. Every man, going back to when he was a boy, wants to be the hero. Most of us don't get the chance in real life--so video games are a chance to be the star. Think about it--no one plays video games to be a role player, to be a background character, to be the un-named thug, to be the "red-shirt". We do it because it's our chance to be the rock star, score the game-winning goal, make the kill-shot, or to be captain of the ship.

Let me give you some context, by re-writing your letter, switching gender stereotypes:

While I find the occasional [shopping trip] can be fun, what makes (wo)men obsess over them? I'm not talking teenagers here, but married (wo)men with kids who have better things to do with their time (and their [husbands]).

I guess it comes to this...Is the issue that he likes vids, or that you don't like them?

I had a best friend. I lost him because my marriage was in serious trouble and he gave the advice to move to his state, and actually found me an apartment right next door to his family. I moved away and separated from my husband because our differences were bad enough not to live together. Wouldn’t you know it my friend had issues with his wife who it ended up was cheating on him. He moved in with me and slept in the extra bedroom. His wife gave him ultimatums about moving in but he still moved in. I ended up sorting things out with my husband and my friend became horribly pissed at me as I was doing this because he claimed I had been the catalyst to his breakup..... He accused me of purposely trying to break up his marriage and of always being involved in his relationships.

Now he does not speak to me and my husband has moved to my new state and moved back with me and we are working on our marriage. Should I try to reconcile my friendship with him or just let it be? It would be 22 years of friendship down the drain and I miss our phone calls. I love him dearly but he accused me of breaking up his marriage. your advice?

...There is no way you two can be friends. Why would you want to? He accused you of trying to break up his marriage, after all. And if you're as innocent in this as you make it seem, that's not something a best friend would say. Funny how time softens the blow. This is not a minor thing.

You didn't have a best friend, you had a guy who wanted to sleep with you and was slow-playing it.

If there's no chance this guy can sleep with you, there's no chance he wants to be friends.

*Dr. Kodiak is not a real doctor, but he does give free physical exams. Send your anonymous questions to desperatesarah@gmail.com.


LMW said...


In real life my husband is kind of a "red shirt", so that bit of advice is really helpful... it is just the staying up until 4 a.m. playing video games every night part that I don't get.

And it isn't that I don't like video games...

...I could kick his ass at Dr. Mario.

La Femme said...

I take issue with the Video Game thing, mostly for the reasons that LMW states. I love to read, but if I sat around reading as much as my husband plays video games, there would be no clean dishes, laundry, or anything else.

And the shopping example doesn't work for me, I hate shopping.

HomeImprovementNinja said...

I call B.S. on number 2. Males like video games b/c we are competitive and goal oriented. There's a reason that video games have numerical scores...it's to see who's winning. Men always want to be the guy who runs the fastest, jumps the highest, has the biggest biceps or the longest dong or the most money because life is a competitive exercise and the winner gets the most girls. Girls like shopping because, well, who cares why the like it. But men like video games because they are fun, and they are fun because winning is fun. Whether you are winning by beating some other dude or beating the Xbox, you are still winning and winning makes you the alpha dog(even if it's in your own mind).

I also call B.S. on number three. She doesn't miss the friendship, she misses the attention. So you left your husband, moved to a different state where this other guy lives, he leaves his wife and moves in with you but you didn't have sex? Yeah, that sounds totally believable :P

And no, you can't be friends. He doesn't want to be your friend, he wants to see your O-face.

Bathwater said...

I think men liking breasts is a learned behavior liking a fine ass is purely genetic behavior.

LMW said...

La Femme - I agree... I hate shopping too. So I didn't really get that part.

HomeImprovementNinja - fun is great and all, but when you are in your thirties, married, with children, perhaps the competition and goal making should be based in reality and spending 6 - 8 hours a day "having fun" should be unreasonable. I'm not saying don't have fun, nor am I saying don't play video games... but life needs to be taken care of first.

Like La Femme said, I'd love to read 6 - 8 hours a day, but shit still needs to get done.


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