~Wednesday, June 06, 2012

Are you single?

"What do you say when someone asks if you're single?" Abraham's roommate asked me.

"Depends on who's asking," I replied.

"Hey!" cried Abraham.

"Well if it's the IRS or the government asking, I'm single," I explained.

"Right," she answered. "There's no box for dating."

She went on to explain that there isn't a box for dating, and unless you're married, you're still single. She doesn't apply this just to taxation purposes; she applies this to her entire life. She has a boyfriend, but if anyone asks, she's single.

"I'm single until there's a ring on my finger."

Her boyfriend doesn't entirely agree with this notion.

She says she single to the extent that she'll keep looking until she walks down the aisle. This doesn't mean she'll date other people while she's with her boyfriend; I think it means she's got a wandering eye. It certainly keeps her boyfriend on his toes.

I would rather be fully invested in the relationship: to take the relationship as far as it can go, and then look elsewhere if it didn't work out. It feels disloyal and disingenuous conduct myself otherwise.

While I disagree to the degree in which she declares herself single, I do consider myself single. She's right. I'm not married. Employers, doctors, bankers: there isn't a box for dating.

Are you single? To what extent?

14 comments:

heisschic said...

Single? Yes.
Available? No.


what about for those who are engaged? technically, i believe the government would still categorize them as singles... but with an expiration date.

creativintage said...

my answer depends on ryan gosling's answer.

Shanny said...

Single, to mean, means "On the market". If I met someone I was told was "Single" and we hit it off, and then I was told "Single, in the tax-form sense", I'd feel lied to.

Red Stethoscope said...

I don't consider myself single, but mainly because single is a mindset of being "available" for me. You're right that legally, we are all single, but I guess I just feel like I have someone that I am accountable to and accountable for.

bluemoon said...

I'm single in all senses right now, but when I've been with someone, no, I don't consider myself single. Technically, sure. But like another mentioned, if I'm not available to another, then I'm not single.

Lilly said...

I hate those stupid boxes. Even on FB, there's not an accurate category for me. I'm legally divorced but not on the market. I also disagree with the roommate, once you hit the exclusive point, you're not 'single'.

MissM said...

As single as single can be.

MissM said...

Oh when I am dating I say single but unavailable. I believe I am single until I am married but a person can be single and committed, exclusive and betrothed to someone.

sillywrongbutvividright said...

"I'm single" to me, means "I'm available" no matter what catagory I'm forced in to by any official organisation, my relationship status is not Single, One, OnMeOwn ... I'm with someone, I share my stuff with another, there's one number I call when something occurs to me ...

Missy said...

I've been in a committed, dating relationship for quite some time - yet the reality is, I am single.

I make decisions about my children, home, finances, time and energy alone. I understand that my partner is not bound by anything other than desire to be with me. In many ways, this is more meaningful!

AmericanBridget (Jones) said...

I am perpetually single and not exactly thrilled about it. I can't even land a good date these days! :)

ames said...

I've thought about this before. I tend to say I'm NOT single mostly because I think about how I would feel if I heard my boyfriend say he were single; that would sting.

Bathwater said...

To the full extent.

Miss Devylish said...

I wonder how your friend would feel if her boyfriend said he was single if asked in front of her. When I'm boyfriended I'm not single. That's all there is to it. Single to me means also available. Other than the IRS or similar forms would I define it specifically.

 

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