Observances of my first Rosh Hashanah

• You can accidentally refer to it as church about 6 times and no one will correct you.
• At the dinner table someone said this and I got so excited I reached over and slapped Abraham. I got this one: 

"May the Lord bless you and keep you.
May the Lord make his face to shine upon you, and be gracious to you.
May the Lord lift up his countenance upon you, and give you peace."

• So... they also say Lord?
• Also I saw a reference to Satan in the hymn book thing.
• Actually the temple service wasn't that different than church.
• The singing was pretty.
• Although I would have appreciated the Hebrew to be spelled phonetically, so I could at least pretend to follow along.
• Every time they did something that I didn't know about, I got really panicked.
• For instance, someone really should have warned me that a man was going to blow into a ram's horn and it makes a terrifying, terrifying sound.
• They took bets on how long the horn lasted.
• It lasted 11 frightening seconds.
• I asked what to wear to temple. I was told to wear the same thing I would wear to work, so I wore a green dress, pink belt and nude pumps. I looked nice. I even got Abe to approve the dress.
• Everyone in temple wore black. I looked like a damn crayon.
• With the green dress and my straight hair, I felt like I really didn't fit in.
• People talk in temple. Like people will turn around and have conversations with each other while the service is going on. This is not the same as church.
• Actually, they even keep the doors to the temple open so you can come and go as you please during the service. We got there at 10:00 and walked out randomly at 1:30.
• They also don't do that at church.
• I was warned about gefilte fish (Abe called it the hot dog of the sea and didn't touch it), and I was told I didn't have to eat it, but I liked it.
• I, however, did not like fake chopped liver. It's hard to go there after knowing the real thing.
• Jewish history started with a couple named Abraham and Sarah.