Out of the Woods

Abraham's bedroom smells like wood.

I guess I should stop calling it Abraham's bedroom. Next month it will be my bedroom as well.

Truth is, I signed that lease to buy me 6 more months in my apartment, and I haven't spent a single night there. I've been at Abraham's house (I mean, our house). Katielookingforward referred to my lease as an insurance policy. "You can 'waste' money on rent for an apartment that you don't use, because that kind of waste I consider insurance," she commented. "I think it would truly be wasting your money for you to move in now, have something possibly not work and then have to find a new place to live!"

We made the decision to live together and then extended it by six months. It cost me roughly $7,000. It was quite an expensive insurance policy, but I don't regret a penny of it. Because I know in my heart that we are ready. I could have moved in six months ago, but I would have had reservations then. I don't have reservations now.

The delivery men came last weekend with our new bedroom furniture. The new furniture is made out of solid cherry instead of that particle-board crap Abraham used to have, which is why the room smells woodsy. I was able to buy the furniture since Abraham helped me with the ski vacation.

Abraham inhaled. "I like the smell," he admitted.

I went back to my apartment, which now feels uninhabited and ghostly. The halogen lights in the kitchen burned out. The garbage disposal stopped working from disuse. I wrote a letter for the work orders. Then I went to my old dresser and stuffed my clothing into suitcases to bring to Abraham's house. My house.

I crossed my bedroom to the nightstand and began emptying it. This nightstand will be Abraham's when I move. In the bottom drawer were my self-help books: He's Just Not That Into You, Be Honest--You're Not That Into Him Either, Quirkyalone, Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man and others. And others. The list goes embarrassingly on, and the titles only get worse. I didn't get rid of these books when S moved in. I must have known in the back of my mind that he wasn't the one.

But I'm ready to get rid of them now. It would be disrespectful to bring them with me. They've helped me over the years, and I'd like to pass them on. Every week, I'll post about one book and select a random commenter to win the book. I'll inscribe it if you want. And if no one is interested in the book, it will be donated to Better World Books for socially conscious book buying.

I rushed out of my apartment as quickly as I came. It's not home anymore.