~Monday, October 31, 2005

Truth-or-treat

Honesty time. He'll never call again and I knew this from the very beginning. When he spoke about his exes to me, he never seemed torn up about it. I used to think it was because they weren't me and didn't have what we did. I was DELUDED. This is a guy who is 27 years old and has never made a decision or been responsible for anything his entire life. He spent 7 years getting his undergraduate with his parents supporting him 100% financially the entire time. Afterwards he moved back home where he still lives with them with no plans to move out. He's never made an insurance payment, much less rent!

He hasn't deparented. I thought he was just close to his family, which seemed cool because I'm the exact opposite with mine. His idea of fun was hanging out with them. I'm not saying that that's a bad thing, but he had no desire to acquire his own life. He doesn't have a single friend where he lives and spends all him time with his parents. That's weird.

He's not going to call because he's perfectly happy living off them, he doesn't crave anything more in life, anything of his own. And here was I, getting excited that we were looking at rings and houses. This makes me feel like a complete idiot. I'm having trouble for forgiving myself for falling in love with him. There were 2 distinct times when I should have broken up with- one 2 weeks after we met and one time in May- and I didn't. I wanted to do it in May, but my mother talked me out of it, telling me I couldn't do any better than him. I hate myself for not doing it either one of those times. Now he has the upper hand, living fine with his parents and not giving me a second thought when I feel like I have no choice left but to leave the state.

2 comments:

Jenni said...

You SOOOOOO have choices. You decide what they are, weigh the pros and cons and then go for it! When I met my husband I never thought he'd like me...much less love me...I didn't think I was good enough for him. But I was and I am. And you are good enough or better for your ideal man. Just keep going. You will find each other. You are NOBODY'S idiot. This bum did you a FAVOR you just haven't realized it yet. It took me awhile to realize that my ex-husband did me a MAJOR favor the day he came and told me he'd "met somebody". GAG. Actually today is the five year anniversary of that...it was Halloween 2000!!!

Anonymous said...

I really hate your mom.

 

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