Screw you, this is for me

I made a decison. I am going to spend New Year's Eve alone. Voluntarily. CB wanted me to spend New Year's on a date with him, but to be honest, I'm just not that into him. So if I spend New Year's Eve on a date with him, then it's just so I can spend New Year's Eve on a date, and that's kinda pathetic. I feel like it's important to forgo boys for one night and take control of this romantic mess I find myself in and spend it alone. It's very symbolic for me: I, who cannot be happy without a man, am choosing solitude over a date. I am choosing not to have anyone to kiss at midnight. This is up to me; I am in control. A symbolic start to a new beginning. If Nick can treat me like he did (we are unofficially not speaking to each other right now after an unofficial fight,) then I obviously have no clue when it comes to guys and need a night off.