~Wednesday, January 04, 2006

I can't say this without looking like a bastard

CB calls me up, wanting to schedule a second date.

"Okay," I say.
"But this time you're paying."

What? Did he just really ask me out and then told me I'm paying? Can you even do that? I know dating etiquette and girls pay for every third to fifth date. Personally, I'm a fifth date kind of girl; I'm used to being taken care of.

I know I mentioned previously that we're in different financial classes. I wonder which car I'm going to take to the vacation house and he wonders how he's going to pay his bills this month. I'm used to ripping open my pants pockets in new clothing, and he's used to thrift stores. It's fine, I dated a guy before like that. And I paid for everything. And I felt really taken advantage of.

CB doesn't really comprehend the difference between us. I won't let him come over to the house. I won't even tell him my last name. He doesn't know. He told me once that he and his mother have a set-up where they pay money to a church and then, in turn, the church will go to grocery stores and ask for food donations. The church will give the food donations to his family and that's what they eat, whatever the grocery stores donate. Some months it's meat and potatoes, and one month it was a five gallon bucket of Swedish cake icing.

I don't hold this against him, and I know this should make me feel responsible and pick up the tab- but not on a second date. It's not like I was even expecting anything big: our first date was wings and beer. But also, I went to college and spent a long time after college persuing real jobs that pay real money; CB went to a tech school and he's a barrista, one with no plans to do any better for himself.

I told him I would pay for the next date, but he would have to wait a month. We'll see about that.


Jenni said...

When I read that he actually said that to you my eyebrows shot up so high, so fast I had to stand up to catch up with them. OH BUT HELL NO. This guy can be a coffee barrista all he wants forever, but if he wants a hot chick like you he's going to have to work a wee bit harder. I am miffed at CB's nerve. Don't pay for the date girl, don't even go on it!!!! I could rant about this one for ages. Lose his number and tell him to lose yours.

andrea_g said...

I have to agree with jenni here, this guy isn't going to go anywhere. My brother went to a tech school and he used that to get with a big time company and is doing great. I'm the type of girl a bit old fashion that believes the man should always take care of the female. Sure I've paid for guys here and there but we were bf and gf not going out on our 2nd date. Don't lower your standards this will never go anywhere.

Sarah said...

I sat on it for a few days.. I think you're right. I just wanted to meet new people and have fun, but this isn't fun anymore.

It's not my problem that he doesn't want any better for himself.


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