Remember this moment

Remember the past couple of days where you decided that maybe you do want a relationship. Remember when Andy occupied your thoughts more than Christopher. Remember forgiving his faults after he sent you a funny e-mail and you would look him up on MySpace and think how handsome he is when he smiles. Remember thinking you could really like this guy.

Remember waking up early Tuesday morning, excited because you were going to see him that day. Remember him canceling because he had to go run errands.

Remember him showing up in a t-shirt and jeans. Remember him talking about himself the entire time, again, and you wondered if he was ever interested in you. Remember him asking for your credit card so you could pay your half. Remember him telling you to ask another guy friend to help you with some stuff this weekend, someone you knew longer. When you were polite, he threw it back in your face. Remember him patting you on the back during your hug good-bye while you squeezed him tight.

You thought you liked him. When you thought you made him angry with you, your chest tightened -- the only sign you can trust about yourself. Now you feel bad.

This is not the person for you. Remember this moment. You feel like a piece of crap at this moment. He doesn't like you enough. You don't feel good enough, smart enough, old enough. You've questioned your personality: your greatest asset. He should make you feel good. He should make you feel happy. Instead, you're apprehensive.

Do not call him. Do not call him. Do not call him...