"You used me."
"I know, I'm sorry."
I sat with my legs stretched out in front of me on Andy's kitchen floor, not too far from the door. Andy sat in a chair facing me.
He asked me to go to a concert with him. At the last minute, he also invited another friend who kept hitting on me. When I told Andy, he didn't care. "Why, should I be jealous?" he said. It got so uncomfortable that his friend left and now we had to talk about what I put out there.
"You used to like me."
"I was intrigued."
"Bullshit. Don't lie to me. You used to like me."
"I was intrigued."
"Liar. You changed your mind and you fed off of me. You used me. You kept me around to feed your own ego."
"You're right, I did."
"I'm not a fool."
Andy puts his head in his hands and looked at the floor. I vowed never to like another bald man again.
"I wish I never met you," he muttered.
This was just too much. It was insulting. I got up and ran out of his apartment. The stairway was unlit and I put my hand on the banister and made my way into the night as quickly as I could. I got about halfway down the stairs before he stopped me. It was pitch black and my eyes hadn't adjusted yet. I just saw an outline of his face.
"I'm sorry. I didn't mean it that way. Please come back up. I didn't mean it like that."
Slowly I made my way back up. Andy kept his hand on my back and guided me up the staircase. I think he just wanted to keep me from bolting again. I sat back down on the kitchen floor, purse in hand. I would have given a body limb for another drink at that moment. I vocalized this thought. Running down the stairs wore off the last of my buzz.
"It's just that I don't want to date someone unless it could go somewhere and I don't want to marry you."
It's pretty bad when someone tells you he doesn't want to marry you when you're not even dating.
He continued: "I led you on and I'm sorry."
Truth is, I knew all along things would turn out this way. I knew it would never go anywhere, that he wasn't right for me, but I forced myself into liking him to distract myself from getting attached to Christopher, and I still ended up hurt.
My friends hated Andy. They saw first hand how he treated me and couldn't stand him. We'd be at a bar and he would get up and go watch whatever sports game that was on at the moment and leave me alone at the table. My friends and I ran into him the night before and were appalled at the way he spoke to me when I didn't pick up the concert tickets yet.
Andy was the worst kind of guy. He was a bad boy who played the nice guy act. He was selfish and rude and insulting, but played up how he wanted to settle down and was tired of getting hurt. He truly thought he was he was a good guy; he was not. Good guys wouldn't lead girls on for kicks.
Andy said he still wanted to be friends. I nodded, but knew that would never happen. Andy was never my friend. My friends don't treat each other that way. My friends would never use me.
"You'll find someone else."
I smiled. I still had a card left in my hand. It was time to lay it down.
"I've been seeing someone since January."
Andy's eyes widened. I don't look like the girl who can keep this information quiet. He was so sure he knew me and I dropped this bomb.
"What's his name?"
"It'll never work."
I was so over this conversation, but it was playing out perfectly. Andy was stunned, his ego deflating.
"When was the last time you had sex?"
Andy's mouth dropped fully open. I laughed and then immediately tried to cover it up. He blinked a few times.
I shrugged, "You got to have birthday sex."
"I had no idea."
He may have turned me down, but it was I who had the last laugh.