I am now confident enough to say that Adam really does like me and not in a I'm-going-to-destroy-your-soul kind of way. He sent me a short note at 4 PM yesterday afternoon, but when I tried to reply, my boss started acting like a total queen so I was on good behavior for the rest of the work day.
I turned my computer on when I got home from work to respond, but I got distracted with walking The Femme Fatale, then I wanted a bath, and then dinner. By 7:30 I finally turned my monitor on. There was another note from him in my inbox.
I think something can be said about not being readily available.
N flitted into my cubicle this morning. "So? Give me an update!" she whispered. I told her about the 2 e-mails.
"What's his last name?"
I told her.
"Come here."
I ran after her into her cubicle, losing a shoe in the process. I watched with one bare foot as she opened a personal web page she made with links to the public court records of the surrounding counties. We spent the next hour searching for poor Adam in the civil and criminal public records. He came up clean, but she couldn't access the county that all three of us live in.
We then Googled him.
He is no stranger to the internet. Google produced pages and pages of information on him from the past 16 years. We know his hobbies that he was into during college. We found pictures and message boards that he posts on. We know that he likes nice cars and we know that he owns a mandolin.
I feel dirty.
I learned a lot about him this morning. I am dealing with a nerd. Good lord, all those message boards! I don't mind because he's socially adept and I have my own nerd-like tendencies (see: blog). But now I know all this information that he never told me. This information would have been important if it was a newspaper article about him getting arrested for kiddie porn per se, but it wasn't. And now I know all sorts of stuff that he hasn't told me.
I then went back to my desk and Googled myself to see how I would look from his perspective. The only thing that came up was the newspaper I wrote for in college. And he already knows about that.
Is it wrong to Google someone? Have you ever given in to the urge?
2:52 PM
3 weeks ago
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11 comments:
I don't think it is wrong per se. I do it, my friends do it...although I do understand why you feel dirty. I told one of the guys I dated a while back about googling him and he sheepishly admitteed the same thing. I think we all do it but no one admits to it. So go ahead google away!
yeah, I have. But it seems that people I've known so far haven't had a whole history on the internet so there's nothing to see. Do I think it's wrong? I don't really know, it's nowhere near reading someone's diary you've stumbled across. Google? I bet he's done it too
Yeah why not. But I'd take whatever I read (excepting court documents) with a large grain of salt.
I google people all the time! Don't feel guilty. Everyone does it, whether or not they want to admit it.
I kind of liked this guy once and I googled him and found out he'd committed vehicular homicide a couple years before -- totally sober, not his fault by accident.
Two months later we ended up making out and watching the sun rise together and he ended up telling me his "deep, dark secret" -- he actually choked up when he said it -- and I had to pretend like I didn't know the whole time so he wouldn't feel weird about it.
I don't know how I feel about that as I have never done it. It's just like people here who work in the hospital looking up the people who they like's medical records for any "unsaid issues" or to get their phone #. I have always operated under the if they want you to know they'll tell you when their ready policy.
With that being said, Googling someone isn't as tragic. It's public information, but now you know all this stuff that wouldn't seemed all that bad if he told you.
I'd tell him what I'd done. Then it's all in the open. It doesn't seem like it should be too big of a deal. Obviously you two met because of the computer. Telling him what you've found is open, honest, and gives him an opportunity to respond.
All the time - in fact, I'd never consider NOT Googling someone (lol). I do it to people frequently.
I Google myself occasionally, too - just to make sure I haven't randomly been turned into a porn star overnight.
I think I wouldn't feel bad about it, except there was SO MUCH information I had found!
Yes, yes-- it's probably good to check on your porn status!
......I'm goog-lin' you right nnnnnnnow!
I have to say after reading this, I googled my Ex-Husband.
The whole rest of my year was made. Apparently he decided to take up modeling...
But he's not good at it nor does it even work for his personailty. Not to mention all the mispelled words on his modeling page.
Fantastic Idea :) thank yoU!
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