~Friday, November 17, 2006

Lesbian Stuff

Now I remember why boys like me:

Because I can dance.

In stiletto heels.

On a stage.

For hours.

Living in Midtown, I really don't take enough advantage of our celebrity-riddled clubs. Truth is, I'm not much of a club goer. I prefer bars with seating and waitresses to fetch my pints of beer, not lemon-drop shots while hovering over a sticky bar where my only thought is, God, it's kinda loud in here.

But N dragged me out to a hetero club the previous week, and as I danced (it's one of the few things I excel at) I felt the eyes on me. I didn't even have to look around to know that seven or eight men were checking me out. Me.

I thought I would get the same results at the lesbian club.

It's not that I was looking to get hit on by a member of the same team, but everyone wants to feel desirable. So when I danced and pulled out my usual moves that makes men drop their jaws, I was expecting a little something-something.


Nothing. I got nothing.

After awhile this Asian couple began dancing with us and the one girl kept making eyes at me. She was an excellent flirter. She would look at me, grin, and laugh while pulling up the bottom of her dress up at me. I'll have to remember that for future use (except the lifting of the skirt bit, that seems a little forward).

In the car I bragged to N, "Did you see that Asian girl? She wanted me."

"She's married with two kids. She escapes to this club every weekend where she hits on everybody."


I complained to N about not getting checked out.

"No, there were several girls checking you out while you were dancing." Z chimed in with her, noting the same thing. "It's just that girls are much more stealth at checking people out than boys."

Could that be it?

"We're more subtle. Think of it this way: you check out women every day."


"You do. You look at them to see how their hair is styled, or what cut they may have. You check them out for their clothing and shoes."


"Besides that, most men stare when they check people out. Obvious stares. Women, however, can glance once, maybe twice, and file it away." N checks me out for emphasis, "See, I have a snapshot of you right now, I don't need to look anymore."

Is this true, men? Do you find it hard to tell when you're being checked out?

Makes me glad I'm a girl. Er, a hetero girl. Not so sure I would be good at this lesbian stuff.


M said...

now I know why I don't get along in the hetero world - I can't dance in stiletto heels and refuse to dance on stage (unless it's a dance recital and I'm 12). Woe is me - maybe I really *should* switch to lesbians - but NOW I realise I won't pick up on their subtle hints (I need the sledgehammer approach).

The nunnery it is!!!

(I don't mind men being obvious but honestly, can't they be less rude about it - it's like they've never seen a girl before. And there are MORE of us than there are of them. You'd think they'd have gotten used to us after the first few thousand years of existence!)

Anonymous said...

"Is this true, men? Do you find it hard to tell when you're being checked out?"

I can hardly tell when a girl checks me out. It is like... I do not have that skill or something. Even when someone is interested we cant say for sure. Only when it is a direct approach from the girl too, then I know.. yeah something here then. In other cases, it is all so umm... very obscure!

Phil said...

I have no idea if someone is checking me out. Women are too subtle.

But it's easy for a woman to notice if a guy is checking them out. Drool stains on his collar.

Anonymous said...

I'm having the strangest deja vu...huh.

general_boy said...

It's funny how in that setting girls often don't seem to mind getting noticed by other girls. Not necesarily hit on... just noticed. Guys on the other hand...

"Do you find it hard to tell when you're being checked out?"

No, I just know no-one is LOL.

Sarah said...

M- I feel the exact same way re: breasts. Every second person has them, what's the big deal???

Himu- Hmm, I did not know this.

Phil- LOL! My favorite is the head-bop stare a la Will Ferrell when he did that skit on Saturday Night Live. (I have no idea if that show airs over there or not, so you may have no idea to what I'm referencing.)

TDG- Why? Same thing happened to you?

General_Boy- yeah somehow I don't see straight men taking the compliment as easily as women do.


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