I have sort of a big deal going on tomorrow night. I've nominated myself the cruise director and I've spent the better part of a week e-mailing and calling everyone to invite them to said Big Deal. While driving home yesterday, I called those who had not yet responded to e-mails. And I saw his name on my list:
David is a frustrating situation. Thing is, I don't really like David-- not romantically. I don't want to get married and have babies with David. I don't even want to see him every Friday night.
But it's been a few months since I've gotten laid and, dammit, David is my top candidate. I like him enough to sleep with him, and don't like him enough that the situation wouldn't hurt me, no matter the outcome. He's disposable.
I slid my phone shut and kept driving. I don't call boys; it's just not something I do. I'm not comfortable with it because too many times I have dialed and the boy on the other end was in a bad mood and consequently I spend the rest of the evening/weekend/week thinking I did something wrong. It's just not worth the hassle.
Then I thought of the other people I had called: Conor, Mike, Geoff, Bryan... all boys. And I didn't have problems calling them because they're my friends and nothing more. David is a friend and by not calling him I would be treating him differently, and that's not any better.
When I got home I looked at the white board on my fridge for the list of boys' names that I refuse to have in my phone and dialed David. And got no response.
Within the hour I heard back from him. Via e-mail. And because I'm so excellent with subtext, I'm including it in his response:
hey,Too bad David couldn't read my subtext, otherwise he'd be getting some this weekend.
sorry i've been unreachable...lot of stuff goin on. (I'm still in love with my ex.) work's been killin me. (We're fighting, which means we're on some sort of speaking terms.) been gettin up at 4:10 am, and getting back well after 6 pm. (I'm not sleeping well because I've been up at night, searching for clues in our fights that she still loves me.) physically exhausted, and i've had to work out too. (I've been leaving emo song lyrics as my away messages on AIM.) so, i might need to just relax and sleep this weekend. (I'm staying home in case she reads my lame-o away message and wants to call me.) hopefully won't have to work this weekend too. (I really want to be home so I'm there when she realizes dumping me was a huge mistake.) but, we'll see. (She's not going to call.) i'll let ya know. (I love her so much.) holla. (E-mail me again and I won't respond.)