~Monday, February 26, 2007

Dear Daddy,

I know you want me to get out more because you think I'm boring, so when Harvey sent me a text Saturday night that read, "Atkins Park, 9:30," I rolled off the couch and showered. And at 9:30 I was seated firmly on a bar stool. I did it for you, Daddy.

And that martini and those first two gin and tonics, I ordered them because I knew you would want me to have them.

And, well, the pitcher of beer that followed--liquor before beer and you're in the clear, right?

But, honest to God, Daddy, I didn't know they invited Him out too. I know you told me not to get drunk, but it doesn't count when you're shitfaced before he even arrives, does it? By the time I found out, there was nothing I could do, Daddy.

So, to review: not my fault.

And, er, he may haven taken my car keys away when I said I could "color within the lines." And he put up with me long enough for the 30 minute drive back to my place, especially when I turned up the music and sang Alice in Chains for him.

He may have spent the night, but I made him promise up and down to be a good boy. And then I broke into a fit of giggles because boys look really ridiculous wrapped in pink sheets.

And the next morning I was wishing for sweet death, Daddy. All in the name of not being boring. I was able to make it until after he drove off before I got sick in the bushes in front of my car.

When Harvey sent me another text inviting me to a barbeque, I politely declined, Daddy. You can call me boring, but I was desperately in need of a shower, some food, and a nap in that order. Especially when I had a date that night.


standontheright said...

Oh no!!! What did you do?!!? Hope you're ok x

M said...

oh lordy. lol. So this is why they call alcohol social lubrication? hehe

James said...

If you're boring, what are the crazy girls like where you're from?

Miss Natalie said...

Sweetie, I'm so happy I'm not the only one this kinda stuff happens to. It was all a good idea at the time. Boy's can just sleep in the same bed and nothing happen - thats how i like to remember it too.

..... Boring until next weekend eh?

Scorpy said...

lol sounds like my last date :)

Brooklyn Frank said...

lol, nice post/

Jen said...

I don't do good with suspense either!! I want to know about the date...

Indiana said...

So Daddy got it wrong? You aren't so boring.

copasetic fish said...

you, dear, sound like a wonderfully good time. not boring at all, because if you're boring, i'm not even alive!

Sarah said...

Stand on the Right- I'm okay for now :)

M- It was sabotage I tell you! It was just supposed to be a night out with the girls!

James- Ha! You don't know how much energy I spend trying to cover up the crazy.

Miss Natalie- I was a good girl I promise! Maybe in retrospect I should have gotten some.

Scorpy- Please tell me you called her again! She didn't mean it, I promise!

Brooklyn Frank- Thanks, crap like this is the only reason I have a blog :)

Jen- Tomorrow!

Indy- Dad just doesn't know the whole truth. Or at least I hope he doesn't ;)

Copasetic Fish- You are so glam with all your men! I shouldn't be allowed in public!

general_boy said...

Boring people don't find Coupling funny. ;)

Amber said...

This soooo made me laugh.

I can't remember the last time I got drunk. I'm still deciding whether that's a good thing or a bad thing.

PS: You shoulda humped the guy - whoever "Him" is! :)

tkkerouac said...


Sarah said...

General Boy- True! Excellent point :)

Amber- Yes my sex situation has not improved since I began complaining about it a month ago...

tkkerouac- No one can make a memorable first impression quite like me!


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