~Tuesday, February 27, 2007

Jack's Preamble

I asked around about Friend of Harvey, forever known as Jack, at the lingerie party:

"Oh Sarah, he's so hilarious."

"He is such a great guy. Truly a nice guy."

"He's the most interesting person I've met. And I don't mean interesting in a bad way. He's so smart and genuinely interesting to talk to." (male perspective)

Everyone had such great things to say about him that I became nervous: this nice, intelligent, and funny guy wanted to go out with me. The girl who yaks in bushes. The one who posts pictures of herself with her finger up her nose on the Internet. The one who makes incredibly bad decisions when it comes to men.

What if he didn't like me? What if he saw me and decided he wasn't attracted? I've been in such a rut that I don't know how I would handle that right now. He is my first date this year.

Then during a phone conversation I found out something about him. Three days after asking me out, he went out of town with another girl. He took her to New Orleans for Mardi Gras. I can't be upset with him over something he did before we met, but I just know that I would be really hurt if the boy I'm sleeping with is planning dates with someone else before taking me out of the state. Leaving the state on vacation spells commitment. It was a huge red flag for me to learn this.

He argued that they met mutual friends in New Orleans and that there really was no commitment between them because they only met once before.

What? You mean to tell me you spent seven hours locked in a six by ten-foot box on wheels with someone you met exactly once?

"That's like driving someone to the airport!"

"Is that bad? Because I did that too."

I groaned.

Saturday night I told the story to Harvey, who did not know about the other girl. "I agree," she said. "Going out of town is a big deal. But I honestly think he just didn't know any better. I mean, he's not even on speaking terms with her. But if you don't want to go out with him anymore, I completely understand."

"No, I'll meet him."

I didn't really have a choice; he was on his way to meet up with us. And I was quite drunk.

But a whole lot less nervous.


Indiana said...

And what happened??? Better yet where are the Lingerie Party Photos!!!

M said...

oh my god, I know exactly how you felt. I was JUST having a conversation with someone at work about this very thing actually (ie: judging if they're good or not - do you listen to rave reviews? Do you look at the evidence? What do you do?!). We were both talking about how sometimes it's how they treat others (not even you) is the tell tale sign of what they're going to be like when they're not trying to impress you anymore. It is surely the same for women too.

Then again, your own gut feeling (drunk feeling? hahaha) is always the best, surely.

Amber said...

Uh oh...

Looking forward to Part II of this story!

pinkjellybaby said...

sooooooooooooo?? how did it go?

i think he needs to explain himself better, he sounds like a bit of a cad!

Sarah said...

Indy- Poor Indy, if you only clicked on the word "lingerie!"

M- It is a tough call! I trust my friends' opinions, but I just know how hurt I would be if that happened to me. I guess the only way was to meet him and find out myself.

Because I was socially lubricated, I actually called him out on it after we met. The main difference in thinking is that he was meeting other people in New Orleans; it wasn't just the two of them. He ended up feeling bad that I was so hung up on it. I ended up filing the whole thing under Jack Didn't Know Any Better.

Amber- Hehe, I feel guilty having too long of a blog post!

Pinky Baby- Oh believe me, I beat this issue into the ground with him.

Anonymous said...

wow. i wouldn't have gone cuz that spells committment to me also.

what happened?

Sarah said...

Kate- It was just misleading to call it a vacation, I decided. She lives 3000 miles away too.

Lil Bit said...

Hey girl ~ it's a lil late in coming, but just wanted to leave a lil gifty for your recent help w/my Masquerade blog. =)

Take care.

Sarah said...

Lil Bit- Aw, thanks!


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