~Sunday, February 04, 2007

On the (unsuccessful) prowl

Friday night was not a good night with the guys. My girlfriends and I went to a karaoke bar that we had a really good time at before.

It started out okay. I walked up to two guys and turned my songs in. One guy was wearing an I Love Lesbians t-shirt. I handed in my slips of paper, took a long drink, and emphatically explaimed, "I love lesbians too!" and turned and walked away.

I had gotten three steps before both guys started shouting, "Hey wait a minute! Come back and talk to us!"

After I sang my song, I returned to our table. One guy came up to the table and grabbed my song book and alternated flipping through the book and looking at me.

"That'll be 5 dollars to look at the book." He gave me a really strange look. "Oh, was that not cute? I meant that to be cute." He smiled and I helped him pick out a song.

After he sang, he came back to the table and asked to sing a duet with me. We were flipping through the book together when my friend went on stage to sing. My friend who has won thousands of dollars singing karaoke and just returned from New York from her third Rent audition.

He looked at me and said, "Nevermind, I want to sing with her." And he left and stood in front of the stage.

Strike one.

On the prowl to bring a group of guys back to our table, I went out in the bar alone. I was immediately recognized by three guys for my performance and I began talking to them. They were out-of-towners, but they seemed nice.

"So what do you do?" the cutest of the bunch asked me.

"I'm a writer." He began to laugh. Not a "oh how cute" laugh, but an "omigod, you're a freak" laugh. "What? What's wrong with that?"

"You're a writer?"


"As in you get paid to write?"


He began to laugh again. I still didn't see the humor in it and returned to the safety of my friends, who also do not understand what's so funny about writing.

Strike two.

After shots and pitchers of beer were imbibed, my friends and I left our table and began dancing. Another guy approached me and asked me to dance. It was nice to be asked to dance for a change instead of him just rubbing his junk on me. I'm a good enough dancer that I don't rely on grinding so I accepted and we danced a song. Afterwards I turned back to my friend to which she said,

"You know he's married, right?"


"He totally had a wedding ring on."

"Shit, I just danced with a married man in a bar!" I really need to start checking for that wedding ring.

And strike three.


londongirl said...

Seeing the wedding ring doesn't necessarily help. I gestured to a ring that the guy was wearing. He apologised, slipped it off and put it in his pocket. Apparently everything should be ok after that.


But I emphasize on the prowl thing. May you have better luck next time.

Amber said...


I second londongirl: better luck next time!

At least you got to sing, dance, and drink, right? :)

Oh, and you have the guts to do all of those things - NOT shitfaced. I at least have to be moderately buzzed to do any of that which you mentioned.

Better prowl days are ahead, friend!

Trinity2 said...

It's ok, honey - it's hard for us lesbians, too! I have had strike three many a night at country bar!

AT said...


Jen said...

Ouch...I think we have all had nights like that. Better luck next time!

Cain said...

Now, I'm beginning to miss Karaoke!!

(It's been awhile!~~

That one would be a good song to sing..."It's been awhile.."

Better Luck next time, but it's sounds like you had fun anyway, huh??

Yeah, I do miss Karaoke!


general_boy said...

Oh no! Maybe flops come in threes?? Which means it's gotta be good from now on??!!

I once met the 1996 Karoke champion of America. He even serenaded me in his RV... complete with built in karoke machine. True story.

Real lesbians are nice enough folks, but I'd rather watch pretend ones. They just try so much harder. LOL

pinkjellybaby said...

ohhh they all sound like nightmares!

M said...

I know of a lot of men who slip the wedding ring off. God they're a feral bunch.

Never talk to a guy wearing an 'I love lesbians' top. Remember that subtext post you had? It really means "I have shit for brains". Seriously, it's true!

Sarah said...

LondonGirl- That is absolutely disgusting.

Amber- Ooh after several hours of the drinking, things like singing and dancing sort of fall apart for me :)

Trinity2- It's not like I was expecting anything from any of these men, I just wanted to flirt a little. But they made that really hard!

AT- Dammit!

Jen- I've had nights where I didn't talk to anyone at all, but such failures!?

Cain- If only I could tell you half of my karaoke stories. I love it :)

General Boy- I do believe bad things happen in threes. Unfortunately it seems like I work in multiples of threes.

Pinky- They really were.

M- I just did it to talk to new people and work on my flirting. He never would have gotten my number :)

jedimerc said...

On the converse side, I've known women to not wear their wedding band (or wear it on the wrong hand...) Then there are those who wear it to frighten off some of us (demented fools like me :) by wearing a 'fake' ring (also called the 'asshole' ring to ward of the assholes).

My situation was almost as odd this weekend: I was around tons of single eligible weekend (anime convention), but one catch: most of them under 18... Needless to say I avoid that type of prowling.

Venting said...

Maybe your mojo had left you for the night. Sometimes it happens to the best of us!

Sarah said...

Jedimerc- I have never ever heard of that. Where are they getting these fake rings?

Venting- My mojo left for the year so far.

Jason said...

Who knows, his wife probably dances with other guys, mine has.


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