On the (unsuccessful) prowl

Friday night was not a good night with the guys. My girlfriends and I went to a karaoke bar that we had a really good time at before.

It started out okay. I walked up to two guys and turned my songs in. One guy was wearing an I Love Lesbians t-shirt. I handed in my slips of paper, took a long drink, and emphatically explaimed, "I love lesbians too!" and turned and walked away.

I had gotten three steps before both guys started shouting, "Hey wait a minute! Come back and talk to us!"

After I sang my song, I returned to our table. One guy came up to the table and grabbed my song book and alternated flipping through the book and looking at me.

"That'll be 5 dollars to look at the book." He gave me a really strange look. "Oh, was that not cute? I meant that to be cute." He smiled and I helped him pick out a song.

After he sang, he came back to the table and asked to sing a duet with me. We were flipping through the book together when my friend went on stage to sing. My friend who has won thousands of dollars singing karaoke and just returned from New York from her third Rent audition.

He looked at me and said, "Nevermind, I want to sing with her." And he left and stood in front of the stage.

Strike one.

On the prowl to bring a group of guys back to our table, I went out in the bar alone. I was immediately recognized by three guys for my performance and I began talking to them. They were out-of-towners, but they seemed nice.

"So what do you do?" the cutest of the bunch asked me.

"I'm a writer." He began to laugh. Not a "oh how cute" laugh, but an "omigod, you're a freak" laugh. "What? What's wrong with that?"

"You're a writer?"

"Yeah."

"As in you get paid to write?"

"Yup."

He began to laugh again. I still didn't see the humor in it and returned to the safety of my friends, who also do not understand what's so funny about writing.

Strike two.

After shots and pitchers of beer were imbibed, my friends and I left our table and began dancing. Another guy approached me and asked me to dance. It was nice to be asked to dance for a change instead of him just rubbing his junk on me. I'm a good enough dancer that I don't rely on grinding so I accepted and we danced a song. Afterwards I turned back to my friend to which she said,

"You know he's married, right?"

"What?"

"He totally had a wedding ring on."

"Shit, I just danced with a married man in a bar!" I really need to start checking for that wedding ring.

And strike three.