~Monday, March 05, 2007

When women are usually right

Jack and I were eating dinner at a local dive hamburger place when a manager approached the table next to us.

"Excuse me, Sir, but the woman at the bar wanted you to have this."

I turned around and looked as she handed him a napkin. The table of boys began laughing and curiosity got the better of me. I leaned back and asked what it was.

He holds up the napkin, "It's a name and phone number."

"Whoa! Nice job!" I said.

"What? How did you do that!? I wanna- OW!" asked Jack. I pinched his thigh. Hard.

Jack and I and the table next to us all turned around to look at the bar. She was supposedly the girl sitting one seat over from the Jager machine, but she was sitting between two guys and wasn't even looking our way.

"You know what would be so great? Send her a drink," I said.

"That is a great idea. Thank you." And he called the manager back and told her to give her another round on him. The manager returned and said she ordered a mid-shelf vodka cocktail.

Just then, when no one else was looking, the girl turned around and snuck a peek at the guy with the napkin. Only I saw her face, and I gasped.

I leaned in to Jack, "She is really ugly!" I whispered.

He turned and studied the back of her head again. "Really? I think you're just being catty."

The Napkin Holder leaned back to our table, "You saw her? What did she look like?"

"I didn't like her. She has a butter face." The other boys at the table began howling.

He extended the napkin to me, "Do you want to take this?"

"Women are usually right with that sort of thing," agreed his buddy.

All of a sudden I felt really badly for the girl at the bar. I don't think I would ever send a napkin to a guy eating dinner with his buddies. I admired her courage and didn't want to be responsible for the reason it failed. "You know what? Keep it. I didn't see her for that long and she was across the room. I could be mistaken."

Just then a hostess approached the group of three at the bar and ushered them to their table, which was directly across from us. Jack and the Napkin Holder's table both saw her and gasped.

"Oh no!"

"Sarah, I would just like to apologize. You are not catty at all."

"I win!"

Regardless, the Napkin Holder got up and introduced himself to the table. The girl had a braying voice that made Jack cringe. He returned to his table and leaned back to me, "Yep, women are usually right with those things." He looked at Jack and advised, "And even when they aren't right, just go along with it."

"I like this guy already!" I laughed.

Jack made a face at me and soon we were talking about the stupid things we've (he's) said. Like, for instance, why he would ask how to get a girl to send him a napkin when I'm sitting within pinching distance. Jack's argument, "to cover [his] bases," also fell under the same category. Just when we got lost in our conversation again, the Napkin Holder leaned back into our table.

"Excuse me, but why exactly did you call him a dick?"


Two Drink Girl said...

Shut Up! That's so funny!

brea said...

Butter face! I haven't heard that term in SO long.

Sarah said...

Two Drink Girl- Yes, I got to tell the story yet again, and this time to a bunch of complete strangers.

And they all sided with Jack. Hmph.

Brea- It turned out she wasn't just a butter face, the bar stool she was sitting in hid her waddle!

Walter said...


Phil said...

Hee, that's beautiful Sarah.

The Dauntless Dater said...

No way! That's hilarious. Just when it looked like you had him two to nothing, he scores one.

Sarah said...

Walter- It was hilarious.

Phil- Yup, that's my life: one big sitcom.

The dauntless dater- The other guy just HAD to overhear!

Angela said...

Oh, I hope she found someone. I like your blog, I was hoping that things would work out differently for you with Valdosta, but this post - I don;t find it funny at all. I was right with you, when you realized how brave it was of her to send that napkin over, and to take a chance.


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