~Tuesday, April 17, 2007

Deal? Or no deal?

"The way he speaks to you, Sarah, it's borderline abusive."

I called Helen the next morning when I woke up in a fit of tears. We both had Good Friday off and I drove to her boyfriend's house where we watched the Deal or No Deal marathon. I felt horrible calling her—Jack is her friend too—but she's a good person and said she feels like she's gotten to know me too within the past month we've been hanging out.

I stopped when I heard the word "abusive." That's a heavy accusation, one I had never considered before. Even now I'm not sure it fits.

Helen did her best to decipher Jack's harsh words. She thought that perhaps Jack meant that there might be the occasional weekend, such as Easter, when other obligations would take priority. But that was about the only excuse she could give him. She mainly just called him names when I remembered something else horrible that he said.

"I've got a date, but the rest of the gang is going to see B.O.G. tonight. See we are totally cool enough that we can just refer to it as B.O.G."

"I dunno, Helen. I think I just want to stay in and be alone."

"No! I know you don't want to, but if you force yourself to go out tonight, you will feel better. You just need to get out."

"Jack had originally wanted us to see it with y'all, but I asked if we could go alone since the last two or three times we've been out in group settings. I questioned why he wanted for us to go with everyone since the last time he said it felt too couple-y, and he responded that us going alone would be more couple-y.

"We were supposed to go last week, but he pushed it off so we could hang out with his roommates. And then we were supposed to go tonight but... he was just so mean," the tears began running again.

"What a douche. That settles it—you're coming out tonight to see Blades. It's hilarious. I laughed so hard that I missed jokes."

"It's become this issue," I continued. "My god, it's just a movie. It shouldn't be an issue. Maybe I should just see it to remove it from the equation. I don't even know if I'm going to see him again and I don't want to give him the chance to disappoint me."

"In the past month where I've really gotten to know you, I just want you to know that I think you are so easy-going and so cool. You don't need this. You can do better. I know Jack is my friend but there are nice guys out there. And if it ever comes down to it, I like you more."

That was also something I had never considered before. That I could do better. And again, I'm not sure I believe it. Jack is behaving like all my exes before him; this is just how men are. It's not a matter of me deserving better, but that there isn't better out there.

Jack was supposed to be my nice guy.


At the restaurant, Harvey slipped her hand in my lap. "You okay?" she mouthed. I nodded. She had stopped by Helen's when she heard I was there and helped convincing me to come out.

It was a small group of six, but still managed to include one of Jack's coworkers from a previous job. Eventually, and after a couple of concerned looks, I forgot about my day-off cryfest and began to enjoy my friends; Helen was right.

"Holy crap everybody! Our movie starts in 10 minutes!" Four of us looked down at the giant margaritas that just arrived.

Swayze looked at me and grinned. "Race ya," he said.

"Never get into a sucking contest with a girl. Go!"

The four of us began sucking down our frozen margaritas, stopping to squirm and cry from the brain freezes. And as I predicted, I won.

We were fully drunk by the time we sat in our seats for the movie. I grabbed my cellphone and debated putting it on silent and sticking it in the cup holder in case Jack decided to call, but instead I just turned the phone off and shoved it underneath my seat. And B.O.G. was so hilarious, I thought I was going to throw up frozen margarita. Twice.

As I walked back to my truck, I pulled out my phone and turned it on. I prayed for an instant for a message to pop up, but knew better.

So I was really surprised when one did.

"Hey, it's Jack. I'm just now getting off work and I'm on my way home for some food and bed. I hope you had a really good day off and a really good Friday. You can give me a call if you want."

I smiled and unlocked my truck. Inside I tucked my phone back in my purse.

I'd talk to him tomorrow.


londongirl said...


I'm really pleased you had a fab evening with friends and are feeling happier.

May the balance continue in that direction.

M said...

I've only seen the poster and I'm already dying to see BOG. So glad you didn't wait around for someone else to get a clue and take you.

Walter said...

In my mind it's settled. First name, Jack. Last name, Ass.

SuvvyGirl said...

I don't know if I could handle that movie drunk. :P I'm glad you had a good time. Sorry he's being so stupid though. Sometimes I wish guys could just prove us wrong. It sucks that us women have great premonition for bad things. But I hope you continue to remember you don't need him and still have a good time.

Eddy said...

Honestly - not all guys are like that. It probably just seems so.

Single Girl said...

I have to agree with James on this one, not all guys are like that. Really! You can do way better than him. Just because the guys you have dated in the past are similar, doesn't mean that that's how all guys are, it means that that's how the guys you choose are. Set your standards higher! You deserve to be treated like a queen!

Anonymous said...

Margaritas and Will Farell. Now that's a good night.

Anonymous said...

i'm so glad you went without him. never wait around for a guy. why do we always forget that?

and wasn't b.o.g hilarious?

Dat Guy ! said...

Hi, Sarah:

I haven't been here in a while..and, as you can see, I've changed my name (so to speak)..

You know, I agree with Single Girl on this one. You do deserve better~~tough to say, but true. Not ALL guys are like this. There are nice guys out there, but as Yogi Berra said, "They finish last."

You don't have to re-create the past. You only have to learn from it, and consider your own role in this.

Take care. I'll be back, as always,


Drama Queen said...

> this is just how men are. It's not a matter of me deserving more, but that there isn't more out there.

Wooh! Hold up! I can assure you NOT all guys are like that, honestly they are not. Hence we'd all be writing headfucking blogs instead of raving (sickenly) about how wonderful love is.

My worry is that even his ‘friends’ don’t seem to like him. Surely that’s not a good sign?

*hugs and margaritas*

Sarah said...

London Girl- Thank you! I hope so too :)

M- The commercials for it don't do it justice. You have to see it!

Walter- Jack prefers the word "difficult."

Suvygirl- I grieved for the relationship already. I'm over the worst part.

James- Oh it seems so :)

Single Girl- I would have no idea how to weed these guys out. They seem so nice at first!

Phil- Yes, it will cure anything ;)

Kate- I loved it! I was nervous when I saw the commercial, but it was sooo good! "I want to cut off your skin and wear it to my birthday." AHAHAHAH!

Res- Welcome back!

Drama Queen- See there aren't any left because they are already in relationships!


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