~Monday, November 05, 2007

The role of bad guy will be played by me

I spent most of the week cooing "You have a friend!" to Scott.

This is a big deal, at least to me. When I first met him, he didn't have any real friends. When he got out of his previous lifestyle, he realized he had to give those friendships up as well. Consequently, he spent a lot of time alone. When he wanted companionship, he'd knock on a neighbor's door or stay late at the bike shop with a coworker. But when it came to real friends, he didn't have any.

He's buddied up with a neighbor and they planned to go camping this weekend. Just the two of them. And because of their upcoming trip, they've been spending a lot of time together.

And that's when I realized I don't like this guy very much.

There was the time this summer when he decided to pour a beer down my head for no reason. He asked if I had any single friends, so I invited a girl over to the pool with us one afternoon. And to impress my friend, or whatever crazytown reason he had in his head, he poured a fucking beer down my head. Needless to say, my friend was not impressed.

And then there's the time when I invited him out with my group of friends to the bar one night. The same girl was out with her new boyfriend. And when she and her new man got up to dance, my neighbor stood against the wall, balled up paper, and threw it at her. While she danced with her boyfriend. Multiple times. I was horrified and embarrassed. Did I mention this guy is 34?

Then this guy started calling all the time. He'll call Scott two to three times a night. "You have a friend!" turned into "Your boyfriend is calling" any time Scott's phone rang.

Next he started borrowing money from Scott. Scott doesn't have any money and is barely keeping his head above water, but he's so generous that if he has the opportunity to help someone out, he will. Scott gave his bill money that he owed me to Annoying Neighbor. So it was like I loaned him my money, which I certainly never would have done.

After having dinner with my father a couple of nights ago, I called Scott on my way home. "Annoying Neighbor wanted to come over and play the new Guitar Hero you bought," he said.

"Okay... just..."


"Just I worked 10 hours today and spent time with my family. I'm tired and I don't feel like being social."

"Point taken, loud and clear."

So I thought when I got home, Annoying Neighbor would be vacated from my apartment. Only when I opened the door, and literally was halfway in, AN shouted from his fat ass on my couch, "Yo, your game sucks."

"Fuck you, AN. No one said you had to play it!" And I stomped to my bedroom and changed and turned the TV up to drown out the video game and went to bed. I can't even remember the last time I said "fuck you" to anybody, but this guy got it. When Scott found out what happened, he flushed AN out and then I cried for cussing at someone. Now I'm the horrible person.

During a fight Scott and I had this week, he told me what AN really thought of me to strengthen his argument: "Even AN says you're picky! And hard!" After we were done fighting and making up, Scott said, "AN says we won't make it past six months. But he's wrong. I know he's wrong. He's just jealous because he doesn't have what I have." So that was supposed to be sweet, but in reality it made me done with Annoying Neighbor.

This guy is not going to pretend to be my friend to my face and then bad-mouth me to my boyfriend. I drove across town to pick his drunk ass up last Saturday night because he couldn't afford a taxi home. And then he's telling my boyfriend that our relationship is not going to work? I. don't. fucking. think. so. I want my money back that he borrowed. And I don't want this asshole in my apartment ever again. And hell if I drive across town and pick him up, or go to the store and buy him a case of beer ever again.

I feel partly foolish. Like when he invited himself over when I was home alone watching football. He acted like he was my friend. Then he takes bets on my relationship behind my back.

But he's Scott's friend. He's Scott's only friend. And I fucking hate this guy. I used to feel like I should make an effort to be nice to him, but after I found out what he said about me, I'm done. I told Scott I don't want this guy in my house. He and AN can be friends and go camping, just not around me. I don't want toxic people around me. And once again, I feel like the horrible person.


lowly peasant errand girl said...

You are not a terrible person, and I probably would've done the exact same thing! I do feel bad for Scott, having it be his only friend, but come on, this guy's a douche.

Goodluck with it, and I hope he finally decides to bugger off!

WiscoBlonde said...

Toxic is a great word for people like AN. Hopefully Scott will do the right thing and side with you on all of this.

nicole said...

maybe scott will eventually meet someone else, and AN can be phased out. he sounds like a real ass, and i would feel the exact same way. there were some friends of the argentinian that i think were less than helpful in our relationship. it's always hard to deal with and balance. but you are not the bad guy! don't worry about that. good luck!

Me said...

I don't think there's any need to phase him out. Kick AN out now of your lives now.

There are standards when it comes to friends, even an "only" friend. If you told Scott everything that you've told us, he'd agree.

Sarah said...

Scott's witnessed everything and said if I didn't want him to be friends with him anymore, he wouldn't. But I looked at his face... there was no way I could tell him he couldn't have his only friend and live with myself. Besides wait till down the road when he would throw it in my face that I made him give up his friends; I'm not leaving myself open for that.

Jessica said...

I don't think your a horrible person as your neighbour does sound like an arse.

But I think your right not to tell Scott not to be friends with him, he needs to come to that decision on his own or he might resent you for it, I don't think there is much you can do except let AN make a fool of himself.

>*;* said...

The good news is you don't have to love all of scotts friends the only sucky part is there's only one to choose from.

I say let Scott do as he pleases but just let him know you don't want to be around AN but he has every right to still hang out with the idiot.

AND force Scott to get his money back ASAP!

J said...

You are not a horrible person. I think you are taking the right stance by letting Scott do as he pleases but by setting limits like not wanting AN in your house or not wanting to socialize with him.

M said...

AN sounds like he's jealous all right - not because of what you and scott have but because he's probably afraid that you'll 'take scott away' from him.

He sounds like a complete idiot but it's very important that Scott has his own friend/s that he can go to too.

You're not a terrible person at all! The man sounds annoying as hell!

20 something said...

hey, I don't think you're a horrible person - a nice person for putting up with this guy if anything. You don't have to take abuse from him whether he's Scott's only friend or not.

Peach said...

shame shame shame, you could encourage scott to make other friends I guess and when/if he does, suggest he sees AN a whole lot less... I hate people talking about my relationship with my boyfriend behind my back, especially if they're going to say something derogatory about me, fuckers, really, I'd be as angry as you, and less nice about it

Trinity2 said...

You are NOT a terrible person! This neighbor guy is an idiot! And, any friend of mine that would bad mouth my gf would be an ex friend (and, also have a fat lip!)

kristin b said...

you are not a horrible person, at all. i would have blown up on him way before you did. and prbably not have felt as guilty as you. sadly. scott will find a true friend soon enough. this guy.. he's not a true friend. because if he were, he'd be a true friend to both of you.

Anonymous said...

And you wanted to set me up with this guy....


You know my opinion on him, he's an ass just like you say. And you NEED to cuss people out sometimes. You need to clean out your emotional storage box on a regular basis otherwise crap gets moldy in there.

Girl...the man is a jerk and just because Scott is friends with him doesn't mean you have to. You can easily ignore him from now on. Besides, he (AN) IS jealous that Scott has you and he doesn't...remember when you and Scott had a rocky patch a while back????

londongirl said...

AN sounds indeed toxic and a prat. Perhaps you can help introduce scott to new people, or join a bike club together or something - that might help him find new friends that you do like.

KennethSF said...

AN may be chronologically 34, but he seems to be psychologically 14. I don't blame you for not wanting him around. I wouldn't put up with him.

general_boy said...


But that being said, doesn't make things any easier for you. :(

As Nicole suggested, hopefully this cretin is just a stepping stone on Scott's path to finding some decent freinds.


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