The role of bad guy will be played by me

I spent most of the week cooing "You have a friend!" to Scott.

This is a big deal, at least to me. When I first met him, he didn't have any real friends. When he got out of his previous lifestyle, he realized he had to give those friendships up as well. Consequently, he spent a lot of time alone. When he wanted companionship, he'd knock on a neighbor's door or stay late at the bike shop with a coworker. But when it came to real friends, he didn't have any.

He's buddied up with a neighbor and they planned to go camping this weekend. Just the two of them. And because of their upcoming trip, they've been spending a lot of time together.

And that's when I realized I don't like this guy very much.

There was the time this summer when he decided to pour a beer down my head for no reason. He asked if I had any single friends, so I invited a girl over to the pool with us one afternoon. And to impress my friend, or whatever crazytown reason he had in his head, he poured a fucking beer down my head. Needless to say, my friend was not impressed.

And then there's the time when I invited him out with my group of friends to the bar one night. The same girl was out with her new boyfriend. And when she and her new man got up to dance, my neighbor stood against the wall, balled up paper, and threw it at her. While she danced with her boyfriend. Multiple times. I was horrified and embarrassed. Did I mention this guy is 34?

Then this guy started calling all the time. He'll call Scott two to three times a night. "You have a friend!" turned into "Your boyfriend is calling" any time Scott's phone rang.

Next he started borrowing money from Scott. Scott doesn't have any money and is barely keeping his head above water, but he's so generous that if he has the opportunity to help someone out, he will. Scott gave his bill money that he owed me to Annoying Neighbor. So it was like I loaned him my money, which I certainly never would have done.

After having dinner with my father a couple of nights ago, I called Scott on my way home. "Annoying Neighbor wanted to come over and play the new Guitar Hero you bought," he said.

"Okay... just..."

"What?"

"Just I worked 10 hours today and spent time with my family. I'm tired and I don't feel like being social."

"Point taken, loud and clear."

So I thought when I got home, Annoying Neighbor would be vacated from my apartment. Only when I opened the door, and literally was halfway in, AN shouted from his fat ass on my couch, "Yo, your game sucks."

"Fuck you, AN. No one said you had to play it!" And I stomped to my bedroom and changed and turned the TV up to drown out the video game and went to bed. I can't even remember the last time I said "fuck you" to anybody, but this guy got it. When Scott found out what happened, he flushed AN out and then I cried for cussing at someone. Now I'm the horrible person.

During a fight Scott and I had this week, he told me what AN really thought of me to strengthen his argument: "Even AN says you're picky! And hard!" After we were done fighting and making up, Scott said, "AN says we won't make it past six months. But he's wrong. I know he's wrong. He's just jealous because he doesn't have what I have." So that was supposed to be sweet, but in reality it made me done with Annoying Neighbor.

This guy is not going to pretend to be my friend to my face and then bad-mouth me to my boyfriend. I drove across town to pick his drunk ass up last Saturday night because he couldn't afford a taxi home. And then he's telling my boyfriend that our relationship is not going to work? I. don't. fucking. think. so. I want my money back that he borrowed. And I don't want this asshole in my apartment ever again. And hell if I drive across town and pick him up, or go to the store and buy him a case of beer ever again.

I feel partly foolish. Like when he invited himself over when I was home alone watching football. He acted like he was my friend. Then he takes bets on my relationship behind my back.

But he's Scott's friend. He's Scott's only friend. And I fucking hate this guy. I used to feel like I should make an effort to be nice to him, but after I found out what he said about me, I'm done. I told Scott I don't want this guy in my house. He and AN can be friends and go camping, just not around me. I don't want toxic people around me. And once again, I feel like the horrible person.