~Wednesday, July 22, 2009

Watched and Weary

My mother went out of town this week for the sole purpose of having a private investigator put on my step-father to get photographic evidence of him cheating for leverage in the divorce. My newest designated job was to sit at home and call the PI whenever my step-father left the house.

The PI started calling me at work before I even left for the weekend Friday afternoon. "I'll be home at 6," I told them. "I'll let you know what's going on then."

I jogged in the (empty) house and snapped the leash on the Femme Fatale's collar. I had a busy night ahead of me: happy hour with the friends at 6:30, followed by an 8:00 movie. Right on time, my phone rang.

"I just got home from work and he's not here," I breathlessly told them.

"Yeah, we know. We saw you."

I stopped in my tracks. I knew my mother hired a PI and yet I still felt jolted and scared. I knew they would be watching various places. I just didn't know they would see me. I stammered, quickly trying to remember if I picked my nose or adjusted my underwear while running into the house and if this moment was forever caught on tape now. "You're saw me?" I screeched.

The female investigator of the team laughed. I felt somewhat comforted that the female member called me. If it was the male member, I don't know if I would have recovered quickly, if at all. It was scary knowing someone saw me and watched me without my consent. I mean, I knew, I just didn't put two and two together.

"Man, you're good." If I knew about the PI and still didn't notice them, then my step-father wouldn't have a clue.

The PI asked all the places he could be, because he was nowhere to be found. "I don't know what to tell you," I said. "He lies about everything so I don't know where his regular places are."

I was left with the instructions to call them when he returned home. Only when I got home at 10:30 p.m. from my movie, he still wasn't there. I called the PI.

"He's still not here. I didn't know if I should call you or not," I told them.

"Oh we know," the PI responded. "We're watching him right now. He's at the woman's house. He's been here since we last spoke. we have tape of him mowing her lawn, feeding her cats, and working on some project together in the kitchen. He's even went to Home Depot to get her a can of paint. They kissed as he walked out the door, but it was quick and daylight and we're not as bold during daylight. We have enough evidence to show intent on cheating even if we don't have any intimate moments."

"Will that be enough in court?" I asked.

"We believe so. Just don't tell your mother, we don't want to upset her yet."

Knowing the truth and seeing the truth are still two different things for me, because I was still shocked. Even though I saw the phone bill and the text messaging records, I was shocked.

I've had about all the drama I can take for one year. The worst part is it isn't even close to being over. My mother wasn't going to serve my stepfather with the divorce papers until I moved out, per my request. I asked her since I was moving out earlier than expected, was she going to have him served earlier. She said yes. It's hard pretending, she said.

Not only is it hard, but it's exhausting. The sight of my step-father disgusts me. I won't go near the living room or the couch he's always sitting on. The confidence I gained with the return of Christopher is slowly slipping away. It's harder to be happy these days; I have to actively pursue it. I'm sleeping more, yet still don't feel rested.

I'm weary.


MamaBear said...

Hang in there.

Melissa said...

I caught my step-father cheating a few years ago. It was pretty shitty. My mom blamed me, we didn't talk for years. They stayed together, though. They went to counselling, and surprisingly enough, turned things around. It took a few years, like I said, but everything panned out. I guess what I'm trying to say is 'hang in there' no matter how long. Sometimes it was hard for me to sit in the background and watch my mom make what I thought that the time were bad decisions. But eventually, it worked out. The only advice I can give you is to make sure you separate yourself from their craziness. It's hard sometimes, but it's important.

gekkogirl said...

Thinking of you and your Mum. It's not long before you are in your own place Sarah xxx

Lpeg said...

Wow, you are really, really strong.

Hang in there, Sarah. xx.

Debbie said...

Grrr, he's such a jerk. I can't stand cheaters. It makes you wonder if the other woman knows he's married? It sucks just as much to be thinking you are THE woman, but are the OTHER woman.

Scumbag! Your mom will be much happier without him.

Erin said...

It will work out and get better. Unfortunately you're just in the middle of it right now.

AmyB said...

This is all so, so nuts. I'm sorry your mom and you have to go through it, but I'm also glad that bastard is going to get his cheating ass handed to him. I will clap in delight on the day that happens!!

Peach said...

wow sarah darling you have such HUGE things going on in your life - but it is so good to hear that your mum is doing something positive for her self respect and for her to move on, even though a PI seems extreme, I would have SO loved to have had the money to afford one in my past to spy on various people, although it would have been out of pure nosiness! again, hugs to you and the troubles - with a new place you can have your own new start - and I look forward to hearing about how wonderful that is xxx

dont eat the token said...

Ugh,weird. I'd have disliked that whole PI thing too!
It's all off-energy, but you are also collecting good energy and building that reserve. It WILL get better! x

Prettylyf said...

Up is coming

nuttycow said...

Urg. What a nightmare. Sounds like both you and your mum are being strong though.

Keep on at it :)


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