~Tuesday, February 15, 2011

Star-crossed

When I was a little girl and my mom took me to my first concert, I remember wanting to be a singer. I think that's what all little kids do, see something and want to emulate it. But the strange thing is, I didn't stare at the man in the center of the stage; I stared at the backup singers on stage left. Even when I was small, I always knew I'd never be a star. That was a dream too grandiose for me.

When I was a little older, I worked at a movie theatre with the film geeks. I remember wanting to be in pictures. I would sit in the aisles of the darkened theatre and watch the frumpier female sidekick. Maybe I could be her.

Last night I hooked up the Femme Fatale to her leash and took her for her nightly walk. As we descended the stairwell, I spied a discarded dozen of roses and two sprigs of baby's breath: someone's unwanted valentine. I walked the Femme Fatale around the block and thought curiously about the flowers. I tried to imagine why someone would abandon them in the bottom of a stairwell. Was it a co-ed who laughed at her geeky suitor? Did a guy change his mind?

When I returned from the walk, I again faced the roses laying on the ground. The plastic wrap and rubber band used to hold them together were missing. The petals, knowing their fate, had already begun to wilt. I bent down and picked up a single rose, peeled off the broken petal and carried it back to my apartment. I filled a small vase usually reserved for my dark chocolate peanut m&m's and plucked the rose into the water.

I always knew I'd never be a star.

11 comments:

creativintage said...

you're a star in my life. i mean that.

Je m'appelle Danielle said...

I like the back up singers, they seem to have more sass and style than the lead.

Toddy said...

You know the blonde chick on glee -the dumb one? she got "found" being a back up singer and choreographer for Beyonce. Just sayin' ... -T.

Lpeg said...

oh sweetie - you are a star. you just haven't found that person who revolves around you. yet. he will come. trust me. xx.

LMW said...

I always thought that of myself, too.

It didn't matter how small the pond was, I'd never ever be the biggest fish.

Anonymous said...

Have you ever seen the movie Holiday with Cameron Diaz, Kate Winslet, and Jack Black?
Winslet's character sees herself the same way, and as she has dinner with an adorable older man in the movie, he says "Iris, in the movies, we have leading ladies and we have the best friend. You, I can tell, are the leading lady, but for some reason, you're behaving like the best friend."
Sarah, you're THINKING like one. She says "You're supposed to be the leading lady in your own life for Christ's sake!" Indeed you are. You will be when you let yourself be, and realize you deserve no less than the starring role in someone's life.

andy said...

Sarah, I come via the always sunny - besides my gloriously despondent guest posts, natch - Marathon Mistress' blog. I love the downbeat tone here. Keep it up!

j said...

The back up singers are always more talented.

Simmarah said...

Back up singers always meet their stardom :)

treacle said...

You are better than a star. You're a moonbeam. x

Paige Jennifer said...

You, my dear, are a star. The commercial everyday sense? Nah. But who wants to be that anyway? You're the kind of star that no one else will ever be. Divine!

 

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