~Thursday, April 28, 2011

The End: How I screwed up

Statham and I have been IMing daily. Some days it's not more than a few lines. Others it's lengthy conversations. After my usual weeknight with the dodgeballers, Statham popped up in the corner of my screen:

How was last night? Any less drama than last week?

No. Drama. Drama. Drama. You realize everyone knows, right?

Knows about what?

I frowned. Then I typed, That we have shared the sex.

Statham panicked. He opened a new IM window and began messaging Girl from Irish Pub, asking what the hell happened last night. Unfortunately all of the drama transpired after she left; she didn't know a thing. Then he contacted his ex to again profess his innocence. He got drunk, hit on me and I turned him down. End of story in his opinion. He said she isn't handling the breakup well and he didn't want to hurt her anymore than he already has.

He did all of this before I had a chance to tell him what exactly happened. After twirling with the boy, I followed Clemson and the leader of the group to a second bar. Never go to a second location on a weeknight. Just shut it down and go home. But I didn't. I perched on my bar stool between Clemson and the Leader. It was just the three of us in the entire bar and we sat there until 2 a.m.

I told dirty jokes while Clemson ribbed me. Then the Leader puffed out his chest and told me about all of his conquests among the league.

"You know all the girls on our team?" the Leader asked.


"I've slept with them all." He paused, "If you were on the team a few seasons ago, you would be a notch on several people's bedposts by now," said the Leader.

"I've been playing with y'all for three seasons!"

"That's right. I heard you hooked up," he said.

I threw my hands in the air. "I don't know what you're talking about. I'm untainted," I professed.

"Right," he said.

Statham was never mentioned by name, and I didn't press the issue because I thought that asking what he meant could be seen as an admission of guilt. Just deny and change the subject.

I sent all of this to Statham.

He's not talking about me, typed Statham. He's talking about you going home with Clemson.

Crap. Didn't know he knew about that.

But it's impossible. I didn't do anything with Clemson. And Clemson was sitting right beside me when the Leader called me out. Clemson would have been caught lying. The person I hooked up with was Statham.

Meanwhile Statham's on the phone with his ex. Just mentioning the gossip that we hooked up hurt her. She decided to leave town for a few days to escape the situation.

Statham insisted that it's Clemson the rumor is about, not him. Then he drops the bomb on me. Everyone knows about me spending the night at his place. Statham heard it from Girl from Irish Pub and he heard it from another girl I've never even spoken to as well as other sources.

Via e-mail, I confessed the entire night. I detailed the night for him so he would know I was telling the truth and not lying, like I was doing for him.

Statham then updated me on the story he concocted for his ex-girlfriend. As he's ad libbing a new story that explains the Leader's rumor, I realized that Statham doesn't give two shits about me; he's more concerned about his ex's feelings than he is mine. Because I now officially feel like garbage. The lies and stories that we never happened are starting to hurt me. We agreed that neither of us would say anything, but the extent he's going to cover it up is beyond any effort I would put forth. It's made me feel cheap.

"I just don't know why the Leader would think we slept together. I never said anything," he told me later that afternoon on the phone.

"Um, really? Do you not remember Saturday when you said we went out and you didn't go home until 2 a.m.? Did you not see my eyes screaming at the other end of the table?" I asked.

"Just tell them we were drinking until 2 a.m." he shot back. I felt myself become smaller. It turned out he wasn't peeing on me; he was just that oblivious.

I never really heard from Statham after that. Not even on my birthday.


DES said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
DES said...


Him, not you!

Je m'appelle Danielle said...

Try not to feel cheap about it. Like you said, it was dirty selfish sex.

Also, he was fresh out of a relationship, never date or sleep with a guy fresh out of a relationship. Shit I don't even like to talk to those kind of guys, I'm not interested in his pity party, I only like my pity parties!

Angela said...

What an arsehole!

He could still have been peeing on you. I've had someone make sure that they contacted me when they realized I was actually slipping away emotionally (for my own good), only for the same douchebag to turn around and conveniently forget that he had done anything, blaming it all on me. F**ker.

J said...

Ugh, what a dick. Sorry he turned out to be a disappointment...you deserve much better.

Breeza said...

What an ass. Sorry you had to deal with all that drama in the midst of making new friends and having fun.

Bathwater said...

I think he was peeing still too. Now he sounds like a panic filled dickhead. He runs to the ex to cover his tracks. Why? He still has feeling for her. What a tool. Guys are such jerks. I wouldn't sleep with any of them. Not even me.

Trixy said...

I don't usually comment.. but.. what a tool! You are worth so much more than that! Bah to him!

Anonymous said...

Sounds like he's paving the way...to get back with his ex.

Just like everyone in the group had predicted.

Maybe he's not contacting you because he thinks you're lying about sleeping with Clemson, just the way you're lying (to others) about not sleeping with him.

Or maybe he thinks you don't give a shit about him, which is why you are so keen to lie about sleeping with him (its not your ex who is hurt anyway). So he could be feeling just as 'small' and vulnerable as you, thinking he did not mean anything to you but a cheap drunken fling, and he might be thinking that the reason you were so cautious about anyone knowing you slept together, and actively denying it...is because you did not want Clemson to find out! So he might think you've chosen Clemson over him.

So now he's choosing his ex over you, as he sees nothing to salvage with you, cus you don't want him (in public anyway).

Mercy for the group dynamics here and their rampant bed hopping and subsequent gossiping about their conquests!

Men like to brag. Clemson was bragging about Girl from Irish Pub having a thing for him. He must have similarly bragged about (literally) sleeping with you after you followed him home. To pee on you and taint you so the other boys leave you alone, so he has you all to himself.

Now, this is what is confusing. Why so much drama about you/Statham/Clemson if the group is an incestuous one? I mean, heck, the leader claims to have slept with every girl in the team. That would include Statham's ex, I presume.

So everybody has slept with everybody (or been turned down by some of the team members). It should therefore not be a big deal and thus...Statham should NOT have ignored you on your 30th Birthday of all days! You've talked about it enough for him to remember.

Except, as a condition of possibly getting back together, his ex has asked him not to speak to you anymore.

Which will still be unfair! Has she not slept with the Leader?

Anonymous said...

I would suggest you find a new group of friends. Not because you've done anything "wrong," but because it would seem that your business becomes everyone's business with those people.

Regarding Statham, you knew when you slept with him that he was fresh out of a relationship, so take it for what it was and don't allow him and his baggage to denigrate you anymore. Notch your bedpost, move on, & let him clean up his own mess.


He Who Laughs Last said...

Boys Suck!

Tracy said...

Jerk! He's a big jerk and not worth any of your time.

Me said...

Not surprised. But I am pretty sure you had seen this coming too considering he'd just broken up with a girlfriend 48 hours prior..so hey, you had fun. Good for you. :)Dirty sex is a not a bad thing. Moving on :)

Jai said...

never regret anything...even when it hurts...u learned something from this too...that ur way too good for him...(but deep down you knew that anyway)!!!!

Anonymous said...

Never hook up with more than one person from the same group- it's just so highschool to do that, and will inevitably lead to problems (believe me, I've learned from experience). Personally I find the comment about you being a notch on several people's bedposts quite insulting and I think THAT guy deserved a rebuke! As for Statham, he sounds like he has no idea what he wants and you should totally stay away.

Maura said...

How you screwed up? I think you mean "How he Turned Out to be Selfish Dick."

Anonymous said...

:\ sorry babe, you're not cheap. instead feel "cheep cheep" like "chirp chirp" like a cute chickadee ---- if you're not smiling I have failed!


nuttycow said...

He has ex issues. Dammit.

I'd rise above the gossip and get on with having fun and enjoying your thirties.



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