~Friday, April 15, 2011


The next morning I checked my phone.

Hey, I had a good time tonight. I hope you get home safe. It was an unknown number. My phone said I got the message at 2 a.m. last night. I assumed it was Statham.

How do I answer that question without saying I went home with his friend?

I'm alive! I typed back.

Ugh, I'm not...

Ha, no running this morning? I tested to make sure it was him.

I don't want a repeat of yesterday, I got back. It was him. I know that now. I didn't respond because I really didn't understand what he meant.

I walked the dog and fed her ham to make up for the abuse I subjected her to by leaving her alone for the night. And then I crawled into my own bed and went back to sleep. The hours counted by and I never heard from First Baseman.

At 4 p.m., I got another text from Statham. Getting into any trouble today? I'm heading to [Irish pub].

Ugh, not another beer for me, but I would punch someone in the face for a Coke and a hamburger. I asked who was going and it was just him and another girl from my team. I'd never hung out with her before and I wanted to befriend her. I got dressed and met them.

We sat on our fourth patio for the weekend and watched the Master's game. As soon as she sat down, she chirped, "First Baseman is coming!"

Oh, First Baseman who said he would call, but didn't? From her excitement, I could tell there was a vibe there.

First Baseman walked up to our table. He was visibly startled when he realized I was there. He sat down. "Hey sorry I didn't call you. I had some stuff to take care of today," he said.

I smiled. Bullshit. "No worries, we're all here now."

I looked around. It was Sunday afternoon and my new friends and I are huddled around the picnic table. The girls in summer dresses and the boys in polos, all of us shielded in sunglasses. Even though I had never spoken to the girl before, it felt natural thanks to the acceptance I had garnered from the two boys. We shared stories and I learned we are attending a lot of the same summer activities.

The girl cuddled up with First Baseman. There's an intimacy between them. I looked over at Statham sitting beside me. The other tables would think we're on a double date. I liked them thinking that. I liked that outsiders would just assume that I belonged with this new group of people.

Statham stood up and announced he had to use the restroom. I grabbed my purse and followed him inside. As we walked, he leaned in and whispered to me. "First Baseman is a huge player who's slept with all of the girls. There's something going on between him and the other girl."

That explains the club he invited me to. It's a trendy see-and-be-seen place that I haven't been to since I was 26. It also explains the ease in which he wanted to hang out with me.

I beat Statham back to the table. When he climbed over the pinic bench, he steadied himself by using his hand on my back. And when he sat down, his hand was now resting squarely on my thigh with his leg pressed against mine. Statham was flirting.

I froze, unsure of how to proceed. I liked Statham, I've always liked him since I met him in December. But he is 48 hours out of a relationship and these people are new and I don't feel comfortable overtly flirting back in front of First Baseman and the girl, despite the fact that that's what's happening on the other side of the table. So I pressed my leg back into his. He found my hand and tickled my fingers in his.

When it was time to go, the girl was supposed to drive Statham home. But Statham began protesting and the whole scene turned into Clueless where Cher is trying to get Elton to take home Tai from the party.

Statham argued, "If I ride with you, then we'll have to walk down the train tracks to get to your car. Just have First Baseman drive you to your car and Sarah will take me home."

I started up my car. Mumford & Sons began playing through my Shuffle. Statham sighed, "I love this band. I tried to get tickets to the show but they sold out in seven minutes."

We talked about running. It turns out we use the same trail, but I leave about 20 minutes before he arrives. I pulled in his driveway. Statham unbuckled his seatbelt and thanked me for the ride.

He looked at me. Then he took off his baseball cap. He's going to kiss me, I thought. You bump heads when you kiss with a hat on. Statham began leaning in, but then he stopped. "You want to come up?" he asked.

So up I went into his townhome.


Brittany said...

There should be a 30 minute sitcom (like sex and the city) made about your life.

I always wish that there were little pictures of these men to go along with the names so I could visualize them....or you could just go along with the whole sitcom thing...lol.

heisschic said...

(@Brittany) I think little pictures could be hilarious- esp if we weren't told who was who... see if we could match the nickname to the face.

Anonymous said...

Oh dear. This sounds like a bunch I know. Statham isn't stupid. He knows you went home with First Basemen, or at the very least suspects, and wasted no time in letting you know FB is a player and currently using at least that one girl as a play toy. Statham might be the "good guy" to FB's "bad boy",and I'm not saying he's not, but be careful of inner circle competition. Sometimes it's not about the girl at all, they just want to win.

Bathwater said...

Apparently Anonymous is not keeping up with the story...

Spring is definitely in the air, and the world is opening up for you.

Anonymous said...

I just watched Clueless a few weeks ago!

Cute story :)


Denise said...

You know how like when you're watching your favorite TV show and just when it it starts getting to the good part and the show ends and then you have to wait until next week to find out what happened? That's exactly how I feel this week!! You're killing me.....

Maura said...

Agree with Denise! But that's just a sign of an excellent story teller.

j said...

I am waiting on the edge of my seat for the next installment. The others are right...this should be a TV show.

Je m'appelle Danielle said...

Dude, you shoulda totally just had a threesome with these guys. I don't know about this one, you said it yourself, Statham is just out of a relationship, looks like he is trying to be a player too?

Maybe your turning into a Maneater! I'm jealous!

J said...

Holy crap, your weekend was a lot more interesting than mine.

Angela said...

I was hoping you would have posted the next installment, by now. :)

ChicagoSane said...

Baseball cap? Really? Disgusting choices you make, sometimes.


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