Tonight I'm heading to my beach house for four days with Harvey, her husband, Mel, Swayze, Katie and South Carolina bestie and blogger creativevintage.
Schmoozer and his best friend declined invitations, saying it was too soon after the breakup and he needs to lay low for awhile.
I have not heard from Katie since Warrior Dash almost two weeks ago. I don't know whether I should acknowledge the breakup, or play dumb since she hasn't told me. I didn't even know if she was still coming, but Mel received confirmation through some avenue or another. However, Mel e-mailed her about carpooling on Monday, and—in typical Katie fashion—she hasn't responded.
What do you think, Universe? Should I play dumb and let her tell me? Or can I ask her how she's doing?
4:45 PM
3 weeks ago
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17 comments:
Playing dumb is just so much easier. It won't lead to awkward questions.
I'm sure she knows that you know so playing completely dumb might not work so well. I think just leaving the subject alone until it is brought up by someone else works just fine.
I would find a private moment alone and ask her how she's doing... She knows you and Schmoozer talk so I think playing dumb would just aggravate her and possibly make her think you don't care. Awkward situation... :( Good Luck!!
Don't even bring it up unless she does. She may be trying to forget about it this weekend and just have fun.
Leave it and don't say anything until someone else brings it up. Remember, if anything happens between you and Schmoozer later on she will be remembering your "first reaction" to the break up and your friendship with her hangs in the balance.
Yep, I'm with Danielle and Natalie- Don't say anything about it, unless she brings it up. If she does, then go into immediately, "I'm so sorry, I didn't want to bring it up. How are you doing?" mode.
Do not say a word. Let her vent if she wants to.
Put yourself in her shoes and think what you would want another girl to do that you have a similar relationship with like you have had with Katie.
ask her. you're still her friend, non?
Wouldn't a simple "how you doing"? suffice? If she brings it up then so be it. If not, then assume that she doesn't want to talk about it. And if she doesn't bring it up with you but it's clear that others at the table know then that shows she isn't comfortable sharing these things with you so whether you know or not because of Schmoozer isn'r an issue. She'll have set the tandard (I think) for your "friendship".
Im with Scrumps...a simple how are you doing is fine...let her lead the conversation...
You're closer to the guy, say your relationship with her isn't all that much to begin with, so why are you going for a post-breakup weekend away with her when you clearly like the guy that just dumped her and all signs are he dumped her for you?
If you must go, whatever you say, make sure it's honest and that you don't relate anything she says or does to him.
I don't think this group of friends will appreciate this if you two get together and I'd make sure he's worth losing them over. He predicted a few months relationship timeline, so it seems that is how he rolls, and then he started hanging out with you, one of her long time friends, who he now seems to like. I hope in a few months he doesn't do the same thing to you.
I agree with the poster who said to put yourself in Katie shoes. How would you want a friend to behave if you were Katie? Would you want honest communication between friends, or for her to go away with you for the weekend like everything is fine when she really wants your just-turned-ex-boyfriend?
Tricky situation. I would agree with the posters that said do what you would want to be done to you in this situation. I think if it were me, I would appreciate someone asking me how I was, even if they didn't explicitly reference the breakup. It would hurt my feelings (admittedly, I'm more sensitive than most) if I thought my friend might know and was just playing dumb.
Most people would really like to be the ones to tell you about what is going on with them instead of you already knowing. Let her vent and get it out then ask "hey you alright" ?
i say play dumb. she probably knows that you know but unless she herself brings it up, it's best not to say anything.
It's very complicated! I'm not going to try and sway... I'm sorry you have to tread lightly when it comes to a friend.
-dont
I would ask how she is doing. She will assume you know anyway.
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