"Brighter Pastures," and Other Idioms that Describe both Work and Death

This year's annual review went a little better than last year's. For one, I knew I was getting a raise from back during that whole two monitor kick in the face. I'm still the butt of jokes at the office because of that, by the way.

The raise was nice and blah, blah, blah, I'm still going to leave the company. Mainly because of two comments my boss made. Bright lady as she is, she is completely socially inept.

"My ideal employee is one who can read my mind and do the work without me having to tell them to," she said when talking of her expectations. I smiled and waited for the inevitable but. But that's impossible! or But that's just plain crazy talk! or even But you'll do! The but never came and I felt my smile wobble until it was some sort of awkward grimace: lips curled back, teeth exposed. The lady was serious.

"So what are your plans after you work here?"

"Huh?"

"I mean, you obviously don't want to do this forever..."

This position? Not so much, but that's what things like promotions are for, right? You know, growing with the company? So I began to ramble about different aspects of the job I enjoyed. Writing company press releases and web design is fun, perhaps you'll create a marketing department and I can head that?

"No, I meant other plans," she clarified. "Like your coworker says she wants to go to grad school. What about you?"

Oh, you mean my job is a complete stepping stone and that there's nowhere for me to go in this company. That the word career apparently doesn't apply to me. And by the looks of this conversation, you don't expect me to be here this time next year, waiting for another raise. You plan instead to get some other chump out of college and pay them monkey wages instead.

I feel you now.