Ker-splat!

After our five-mile jog on Thursday, Schmoozer asked if I would like to do it again Friday after work. I squinted my eye and furrowed my brow as I thought about it. Normally I don't run on Fridays because I have happy-hour plans... but nope, not this week. "Sure! See you tomorrow!" I said.

That night I got a text from Harvey, inviting everyone to dinner at a Mexican restaurant. Unfortunately Schmoozer and I would just have to be late.

The run was tougher on me than it was the previous day. My legs and glutes were still sore from the increase in intensity. But I did it again. Five miles. If I can do five miles when I'm feeling so-so, then I can do five miles every day. It's just a matter of mental strength.

I went home and showered and made it to the Mexican restaurant about an hour and a half after everyone else. Which meant that everyone else had been drinking pitchers of margaritas for an hour-and-a-half longer than me and was an hour-and-a-half drunker than me.

I eyed the margarita. My feelings on it hadn't changed since the previous day: too many calories and too much sugar after doing something so healthy. "No thanks," I said. "I'm trying to lose weight."

"Somebody slap that girl in the face," countered Government Mule.

Schmoozer walked in and was also startled by the drunkenness of the crowd. He took a seat on the other side of Katie. She pushed my rejected margarita to him and he declined it as well, ordering a single beer instead. Everyone was loud and shouting and cheering. Schmoozer and I sat back and observed. A drunken Katie got up to go to the bathroom and Schmoozer took her seat next to me.

"I'm glad we got here late," he said. "We don't have to eat all the calories and spend all the money."

"For sure. I'm not really feeling it tonight. I'm tired and everyone is so out of control," I responded.

"Me too."

Katie returned from the bathroom and took Schmoozer's old seat. She then laid down in his lap. He pushed her up by the shoulders. "You have to sit up. We're at a restaurant," he gently prodded her.

She drunkenly leaned in and whispered to him, "You should be nice to me; I'm rich now." She had accepted a new job offer that afternoon.

I was surprised by the insecurity she displayed to Schmoozer; they've been dating for months now. He even met her parents within the last couple of weeks. But then again, I also don't know much about the relationship because Schmoozer and I don't talk about it and Katie is a private person.

Government Mule grabbed Harvey's husband's soft taco and then passed it around the room when he wasn't looking. I was turned off. That was his meal that he paid for and something like 16 hands had touched it. It just didn't seem cool to me to mess with someone's food. If the kickball group that I had been hanging out seemed like high school, this one seemed like middle school.

I looked at my phone. I made it a good hour. I leaned in to Schmoozer, "I think I'm done here."

"Me too."

I stood up from the table and waved goodbye to everyone, which was received by over-the-top boos and hisses and jeers. Schmoozer then stood up and received it as well.

We stood outside the restaurant. "It was just too drunk and loud in there," I said.

"I thought it was going to be a small group, not 25 people," he agreed. "I think I'm going to Starbucks instead," he said as stepped towards his car.

My throat hurt from shouting to be heard inside. "That sounds nice."

He turned around. "You wanna come with?"

"Okay."

"Just follow me."

We were sitting outside the Starbucks with our coffees. I had already lamented to Schmoozer my latest update re: Statham versus Clemson and we had moved on to telling stories about really embarrassing things we did in college while we were inebriated—I was in the middle of telling Schmoozer about the time I threw up on a guy—when I saw Government Mule's SUV pull up.

Oh shit. This did not look good.

Then Katie's sister pulls her SUV into the Starbucks' lot.

They eye us and go inside to retrieve their coffees. Schmoozer moved to the seat next to me so Government Mule and Jenna could sit together.

Government Mule sat down. "It got too crazy there. They flipped a table and broke a glass," he said. "How did y'all know about this Starbucks?" he asked.

"Schmoozer knew where it was and I followed him."

I updated Government Mule on the conversation and retold the story in which I yakked on some dude. The conversation seemed go to well with the exception of Jenna who didn't say a word.

Then Starbucks had closed and we all stood up to leave. I said goodbye to everyone, telling them I'd see them at the party tomorrow.

About a half hour later, I got a phone call from Government Mule.

"What's going on with you and Schmoozer?" he asked directly.

"We're friends," I said. I pointed out how we were talking about my guy troubles and how I was telling embarrassing stories about myself, neither of which I would mention if we were anything but friends.

He told me he'd been hearing stories about how Schmoozer and I spend a lot of time together, citing the morning walking around Chattanooga and tonight's coffee as examples. He said we always arrive and leave places together.

I laid my cards out on the table with Government Mule, whom I haven't even spoken to in two months. I said I see all the dinner and movie events on Facebook to which I wasn't invited, and it hurts my feelings. I said I felt the distance from the group. Schmoozer is the only one who keeps up with me and makes the effort with me and I needed his friendship, especially with my kickball league currently imploding.

Government Mule countered that I could always text and call him.

"Bullshit," I spat angrily. "You sent me an e-mail back in March asking me if I was okay and I sent you one back saying that I wasn't, and YOU never responded. We haven't spoken since. Do you know what it feels like to open up like that and then be dismissed? So, no, I can't count on you."

Government Mule crumbled, not having a rebuttal. "When someone tells you they are not okay, it's not an e-mail chat. It's a talk you have in person. But the next time I saw you, we were surrounded by people and the time after that I got mad at you, and, no, I never said anything. I'm a terrible friend. I'm sorry."

He then warned me that it's been awhile since Katie had a good relationship and he didn't want to see it end traumatically. I said I hoped he expected more from me because she's my friend and I want the same thing for her.

***

The next morning Katie called me in tears. Apparently Jenna gave her a whole different side of the story, one that was not entirely true. She tried to call Schmoozer but he didn't answer, so by the time she reached me, she was hysterical.

"I tried to go home with him last night and he said no," she cried. "He turned down nookie to get coffee with you."

"That's not what happened. He told me and Government Mule and Jenna that you had a race the next morning, but you didn't have your stuff on you. He knew that if you spent the night at his place, you'd skip the race."

"Jenna didn't tell me that part."

"Ask Government Mule. Also ask him if we were sitting next to each other when he drove up, because we weren't. Jenna is wrong about that too."

"I just don't want to be the girl that he hangs out with, and then he gets coffee with someone else," she sniffed.

"What can I do? Do you want me to not spend time with him anymore? Do you want me to run it by you if we do? What can I do so that you feel better about this?" I asked earnestly.

"Nothing. It's not your problem. It's my problem with Schmoozer."

"Do you still want me to go to your party tonight?" I asked.

"Of course."

I got off the phone. I felt awful. Katie never shows any emotion and she was crying. I had enough drama with the one group so I returned to my home group, only for that one to implode as well. I needed to talk to somebody, but I literally had no one to call. All of my girlfriends are friends with Katie and I didn't want to spread any more drama around.

I called my mom. She knows all parties involved, including Schmoozer. He doesn't have any family in town and I had brought him home for Christmas. Being the only man in the house, Schmoozer carved our Christmas ham at dinner.

"Sarah," she said. "Do you remember Gone with the Wind?"

"Of course." That movie is the reason my family settled in the city.

"Do you remember the scene where Scarlett consoles Ashley and they are seen together? And because of the rumors, Scarlett didn't want to go to Ashley's birthday party. Then Rhett Butler finds out and he pushes her to the closet and finds the slutty red dress and tells her to wear plenty of rouge? He told her to look her part?"

"Yes."

"You better go to that party tonight," she said. "It's incriminating if you don't. But I'd wear a turtleneck if I were you."