Ice, Ice Baby

I've been making a conscious decision this year to chill out. Historically, I haven't been very good at it. I'm one of those people that can't brush off a perceived offense. No, I have to address it, which can sometimes cause more trouble.

Jenna and I spent most of last year at odds with each other. She had hurt my feelings, then I had hurt her feelings, then she hurt my feelings until it was all we knew of each other. After a break from November to January, we were at the same event together. I had missed Jenna.

I had a choice: I could either be happy or right. And I wasn't even sure I was right after all of these months. I do know there were distinct moments where I was decidedly not right.

In the end I chose to be Jenna's friend instead of continuing the feud. I acted friendly to her and she reciprocated. We resumed texting. Then she accepted my invite to the toy party. In letting go, I saved a friendship. I'm a much happier person for it.

Similarly, at work there is a divide between departments. Both departments feel like it is the most important part of the company. One department is the the thinker; one department is the doer. The thinker department arrives late and stays late; the doer department arrives early and leaves early. As a thinker, it was always viewed as strange that I ate lunch with the doers. And then one day last year department tensions spiked and, as a sign of solidarity, I stopped eating lunch with the doers. The departments stopped speaking to each other.

Then one day a couple of weeks ago, I wanted to talk to a doer, well, just because. I was tired of the fighting. I wanted to let it go. I walked up to one of the doers and was nice. She reciprocated. And then we started chatting over the office instant messaging system. She told me she missed me at lunch and extended the invite that I return. I have, and I'm just happier.

I've mostly seen positive changes in chilling out. The change in the way people receive me has been night and day, and the change has been instant. Sometimes it still requires cognitive thought and a self-administered pep talk, but I think that will get easier with time and practice. I think the important thing to remember is that I'm a happier person for it.