For Me

I met Scott exactly two weeks since I had ended things with Jack. In those two weeks I concentrated on making myself happy to try to repair what shreds of self-esteem I had left. Shopping became my form of therapy. I decided to redecorate my apartment, which had purposely been gender neutral in case I ever met a man. I filled it with things that would make me happy: a flowered quilt for the bed, a vase of pink roses for the night stand, a spread of candles to match the quilt and the roses, all pink. I turned my bedroom from a place a man wanted to be to where I wanted to be.

I was embarrassed that first night I took Scott home and led him into my bedroom. I thought he would see my new purchases and think less of me for not being classic. That my whimsy would come off as flippant and flighty. That it would make me any other bobble-headed blonde. He never said a word. Six months later and he has yet to make a comment about the femininity he sleeps in every night.

It's also how I met Scott. I had just ended The Worst Date Ever with a guy from the dating site on which I had signed up (I never got around to blogging about that, but I will.) It was also a Saturday afternoon and I didn't have anything to do for a few hours, so I decided to go look at scooters (of the Vespa variety, not of the I've-fallen-and-I-can't-get-up variety. And yes, it was quite a shopping binge I was going though.) I was always interested in owning a scooter since I moved to the city. Jack thought they were silly and rebuked me for wanting one. And since I was doing things that made me happy, I walked into that store and met Scott. I love that I met him while doing something for me.

The same goes for all the after-Christmas sales last year when I decorated my tree. Adam had kinda, sorta, but not really resurfaced and I was in another bout of bad dating. Only this time my attitude was a little more resigned. Instead of "me power," it was "I'm doing to die alone an old spinster and may as well enjoy it a little."

So that's my very long introduction to my tree:


Scott said it was "one pink fucking tree" at the initial sight of it, but has since admitted that I did a good job with it. The only colors on it are red, pink, white, and silver and I love it so much that Scott has caught me on more than one occasion with my head resting on the back of the couch, staring at it for no apparent reason.

How I love glitter.